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Divinus
Divinus
2022 | Dice Game, Fantasy, Mythology
Bragi. Hercules. Percy Jackson. All excellent examples of successful demigods. As you well know, demigods are offspring of a god and a mortal. Of all the things I have conjured in my lifetime to answer the old, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” question, I never really answered, “a demigod.” Well, that’s because I KNOW my parents and have a hard time believing I could be a son of a god or goddess. Unless it was some weird NPCs (novel series by Drew Hayes) universe with Grumble as my patron/parent. In any case, my new dream of becoming the greatest demigod alive must be played out in today’s preview: Divinus.

Divinus is a competitive tile placement, campaign, drafting, dice game in which players assume the roles of upcoming demigods fighting over the one last spot at the table. By appeasing the gods of the warring ancient Roman and Norse cultures players will earn their place among them. This game uses some interesting hybrid app-driven story mechanics along with legacy-style component alterations to create this world that is constantly under refurbishment and ripe for the claiming of the future Divinus.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Gamefound campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, place the main board on the table, sort out the Map tiles by player count, and populate the board per the rulebook. Each player chooses their Demigod box and takes all components contained within. As Divinus is intended to be played either as a scenario session or its Eternal Mode, which is infinitely replayable using the board and components already altered by previously-played scenarios, open the chosen Scenario Box to be played and allow the app to instruct on how to setup with these components. All players roll their dice and place them in the “ready” pile to be used on their first turn. The first player takes the token (a black meeple in the prototype version) and the game is ready to be played!
Divinus is played in turns starting with the first player and continuing around the table until one player places their final Map tile signaling the end of the game. On a turn, players will have a choice of using an Explore action or a Rest action. More actions may be available in future scenarios, but for the prototype scenarios, these are the two available choices. During an Explore action, the active player will choose any number of their rolled dice in order to create a mathematical equation that matches with one of the Map tiles on the main board. These spaces range from 1-12 in value, so an appropriate dice combination could be 5 + 4 – 1 = 8 in order to claim the Map tile on the 8 spot. Any number of dice can be used to claim tiles, and once a tile is claimed, it must be placed within the player’s personal play area map. In order to add these tiles, the edges will need to match up by terrain type with tiles already presently in play (see below), or may also be placed atop an existing tile. Map tiles may or may not contain symbols for factions, locations, and also Sacred Places. These will all be used in scenarios for different purposes.

Once a player decides they do not wish to (or cannot) take more Explore actions, they must Rest. To Rest, the active player reclaims all spent (and unspent ready) dice and rerolls them for the next turn, replacing empty spaces on the board with new Map tiles.


Play continues in this fashion of Exploring and Resting until one player places their 16th tile, thus completing their 4×4 personal map. Players will consult the app for scoring instructions and the winner will be announced. Should the players wish to play another scenario (or many, as we would have liked), they simply use the same Demigods and open a new Scenario Box. Inside these boxes are different gods to appease, new quests to fulfill (more on these later), and stickers to be applied to game components to improve their usefulness.
Components. Again, this is a prototype version of the game, and it includes two introductory scenarios, a bunch of sticker sheets, and a developmental app. That said, I really enjoyed my plays of the scenarios and they felt like great first steps to lure me into what I just know is going to be somewhat of a lifestyle game (assuming more and more expansions are in the plans). The sticker sheets are all fine, and as I understand it, the stickers that are placed on the Map tiles will have non-removable glue, but the stickers placed on the dice faces will have removable glue. As I am not a glue expert, I can’t really vouch for either. The app is somewhat similar to those that are used in the Chronicles of Crime series, but Divinus promises to deliver an app that can scan the components WITHOUT the use of QR codes. For those gamers who think the QRs are an eye-sore, then Divinus is taking a promising first step for you! I haven’t even touched on the artwork yet, and that’s usually my favorite aspect of a game’s components. The visual style and art on Divinus really make the game pop on the table, and just draw you into the lore and setting. I love it!

So while initially Divinus is a simple roll-and-draft game of building a 4×4 grid akin to Kingdomino, the addition and usage of the Quests and, later, the Charge Actions, morph this into something quite a bit meatier. Each Scenario Box (at least in this version) contains two god cards (that affect how the end of the scenario is scored) and some Quest cards (that are side-quests players can follow to earn some extra VP and other goodies). I imagine as the game progresses through Scenario Boxes that Quests will get more difficult and the god cards more interesting as well.

All in all Divinus has roped me in, and I am very much looking forward to all the other great things that Lucky Duck Games has planned for it. I can foresee soooooo many expansions being built on this excellent chassis, and I am very eager to finish the entire legacy aspect in order to play through the Eternal Mode a bunch of times. Can I divulge a little dirty secret of mine here? I have never before played any type of legacy board game, and if this is what they are like, then I will be breaking out my copy of Betrayal Legacy way sooner than I originally planned.

I believe that the theming here is great, the gameplay is relatively simple to grasp, and the hybrid app-driven story really adds to the entire experience. If you are someone who, like me, has yet to delve into legacy-style games where the components are constantly changing due to choices made at the table, and you have a penchant for dice games with a splash of ACTUAL math skills used, I urge you to take a look at backing Divinus on Gamefound ASAP. With just the initial two scenarios included, I am already addicted to the game and cannot wait to sink my teeth into more scenarios and more crucial decisions that will alter the landscape of my copy of the game. I know that as of the publish date of this preview, the campaign is already about 1000% funded and so many stretch goals have already been unlocked. It is a great time to hop on board and grab a big ol’ chunk of goodies for this one. You may have a preference for Roman or Norse mythology before playing, but be warned: your loyalties may change as a result of playing Divinus… or maybe you will learn to accept both at the harmonious center of activity in your own little section of the world.
  
Gideon's Angel
Gideon's Angel
Clifford Beal | 2013 | Fiction & Poetry, Paranormal, Science Fiction/Fantasy
10
10.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Note: this review is transposted from my personal review blog, and so was originally written several years ago. I figured if I reposted it here, someone might actually read it….


I received my copy of Gideon’s Angel through the Goodreads FirstReads program. This in no way influences my review, except to ensure that I was able to get ahold of this book and thus review it. I have to say, I really enjoyed this one. I want to describe it as “steampunk,” but my understanding is that steampunk is usually set in the 1800s (or at least that level of tech and society) whereas this work is firmly set in 1653. If there’s already a term for pseudo-historical fiction with a fantasy touch set in that timeframe, I apologize for not knowing what it is and using it accordingly.

Things are not going well for Richard Treadwell. The English Civil War is over, the King’s Cavaliers lost to the forces of Parliament and Oliver Cromwell, and Charles I has been executed. Treadwell has managed to escape the destruction of his cause, and has spent the past eight years in exile in France, performing a delicate balancing act between loyalty to his exiled king* and his employer, Cardinal Mazarin. When Mazarin informs him that someone is using the forces of Hell to tip the balance in their favor and asks him to spy on the exile court to find out if it is one of the king’s supporters, Treadwell decides that it’s time to get out of Paris. He accepts a mission for one of the king’s more militant supporters that will take him back to his beloved England–to lead a Royalist uprising, one last try to oust Cromwell and his Puritan cronies. Treadwell has other business to tend to as well, including a wife who by now probably considers herself a widow. Unfortunately for Treadwell’s simple worldview, it soon becomes clear that Cromwell’s power is the only thing preventing the more radical Puritan elements from running roughshod over the whole country. Worse still, a demon from the pits of Hell has appeared to a radical Puritan sect masquerading as an angel of light and ordering the death of Cromwell so that the Kingdom of God may be fulfilled. Now instead of assassinating Cromwell Treadwell will be forced to save him–if he can find a way to fight the forces of Hell, gain some allies in his quest, and avoid d’Artagnan, a young Musketeer dispatched by the Cardinal to bear him back to Paris….

I really enjoyed this book. It’s not exactly “high literature,” but I think I’ve very well established that I care far more about a work’s entertainment value than whatever it is critics look for. The world Beal creates here feels very real, slipping in background historical information without making you feel like you’ve been lectured. Some readers will probably wish for more background on the English Civil War, and that’s fine. If they care that much, there are numerous good books on the subject. If they don’t, there’s a Wikipedia article that should give you a good rundown on what happened. Beal manages to evoke seventeenth-century London in all its grimy glory, much as it would have actually been aside from the fact that all the magic we dismiss as superstition is actually going on behind the scenes. Moreover, this magic very much resembles what you would find depicted in the folklore of the era without obvious modern embellishment. I’m not really all that well versed in the history of the Freemasons, so I can’t accurately speak to how they were portrayed here except to say that I very much doubt their claim to date back to the builders of the pyramids. Then again, I doubt they have the tools to summon demons too, so maybe I shouldn’t be too critical. Secondary characters generally proved to be interestingly complex, especially Billy Chard, but I am seeing criticism of how the female characters in the book act. They aren’t weak characters by any means, but they are constrained by their roles in society. Treadwell’s wife has pragmatically joined her fate to that of the officer who took over Treadwell’s land when he was banished and is pregnant with his child. Is she weak for this? Or is she a strong female doing what she has to in order to protect what is left of her family? Treadwell’s Parisian mistress follows him to England rather than stay in Paris and face the scandal of their liasion alone. Weak, for needing Treadwell by her side? Or strong, for following him into whatever dangers he may be facing? Finally, Isabelle decides to follow her father and the rest of Treadwell’s band into battle against the forces of Darkness, deciding that it would be better to fall by his side than live on without him. Possibly a sign of weakness, but look at her situation realistically. She and her father were driven from Spain for their Jewish heritage, her mother dying along the way. Jews do not fare well in the Christian world of the seventeenth century, not even in England. The lot of a young woman alone in the world is already hard enough in this time without adding the burden of religious and ethnic persecution. She would have no respectable means of supporting herself, and could conceivably find herself forced into prostitution–on her own if she was lucky, as no more than a slave if she was not. Is preferring death in battle to such a fate a sign of weakness or of strength? She certainly has no trouble speaking her mind, and in fact berates Treadwell severely for endangering her father when they first meet. I suppose I can understand where some people would find these characters and their portrayal to be weak and sexist, but I respectfully disagree. I submit that instead they are strong characters reacting realistically to a world where women are not treated equally–in fact, I would have more of a problem with them if they demonstrated anachronistic modern sensibilities.** The ending was a little deus ex machina, but on the whole I didn’t mind. I would say that I want to read a sequel, but I don’t think the author could come up with anything to top this in terms of personal impact on the characters–Treadwell’s internal conflict between hating Cromwell and having to save him is very well done, and I fear Beal would prove unable to find something equally interesting as a follow up. We never really got to find out what happened to Treadwell back during the Thirty Years War that introduced him to the world of angels and demons, so I could see maybe writing that up….I’d buy it, anyway.

CONTENT: R-rated language, occasionally harsh but I would argue not gratuitous. Moderately explicit sexual content, as you would expect from a work in this vein.*** A fair amount of violence, from both man and demon. Not usually too gory in its description. There is also a good deal of occult content, as the villains are summoning a demon they believe to be an angel. This demon’s lesser minions dog Treadwell and his friends, and there are multiple encounters with them. One is implied to be a golem, others appear as strange amalgamations of beast(s) and man. For me, this is adequately balanced by the recognition that, as powerful as the forces of Darkness are, God is far more powerful than they. Bottom line: if you’re mature enough to handle the other content, I don’t believe the occult elements should prove to be an issue.

*Charles I was executed, while his son Charles II went into exile. Just in case you were concerned with the historical accuracy of the book. So far as I can tell, this is pretty accurate. You know, aside from the demons and fictional characters roaming London…..

**Please understand, I’m neither defending nor endorsing the inequality of the seventeenth century. Neither is Clifford Beal, for that matter. I’m simply pointing out that it was how it was, and this was the world the characters would have come from. I’m all for equality, but to whitewash history and pretend it was different from it was….that way lies dangerous waters.

***This evokes more than anything a supernatural-tinged Alexandre Dumas novel for me….and you know how bawdry his musketeers could be when they wanted to be.

Original post: https://jordanbinkerd.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/review-gideons-angel-by-clifford-beal/
  
Macaron
Macaron
2020 | Card Game, Medieval
The only game I have ever been able to play with my extended family on a regular basis, and provided us an excuse to get together every Sunday, is Euchre. My family loves Euchre. It took me a long time to finally learn it, and I did so on a tour bus traveling from Paris to Barcelona. I played so much Euchre on that tour. I still play Euchre somewhat regularly with my wife and in-laws. What does this all have to do with a delicious-looking game about difficult to nail baked goods? Well, I described Macaron to my wife as, “A more intense Euchre with a baking theme, where the bowers may actually kill someone.”

Macaron is a baked goods-themed trick-taking card game for one to five players. In it players are bakers in medieval France trying to become the favored royal baker to the king and his family. The player who can earn the most VP by delivering the tastiest macarons to the royal family will be victorious and will then bake the other players a box of macarons to take home (I added that last part, but Ta-Te Wu should consider adding it to the rules).

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I know for sure the final components will be slightly different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T

For this preview I am tackling the solo rule-set provided and my AI opponent is named Emma (per the rules). Multiplayer games will be played somewhat similarly, but against normal-intelligenced real people. Duh.


To setup a solo game, place the Score board in the middle of the table on whichever side is decided – one side allows up to 20 points, and the other up to 30. Place the first three Group boards (A with Almond and Pistachio, B with Strawberry and Blueberry, and C with just one Green Tea macaron upon it) somewhere near the Score board to denote the flavors being played. Remove all cards from the deck picturing Earl Grey and Chocolate flavored macarons. Shuffle the remaining macaron cards and deal the solo player 13 of them. Deal Emma one random card from the deck under each flavor on the Group board as shown below. These random cards will take on the flavor of whichever stack to which it now belongs. Continue dealing Emma eight cards to her stacks, but match them to their flavors – the 4 of Pistachio under Pistachio, etc. Emma should now have 13 cards in total, but each flavor stack should be shuffled and arranged as shown below. Choose a color for the player and for Emma, place one of each meeple on the Score board to track final scores, and the other meeples on the Gift Box tracker in the middle. Analyze each of Emma’s stacks to determine which Group contains the most cards. These flavors will be given the Royal token (I used the purple star) and are considered the trump suits this round. Flip over the top card of the deck that remains, and place the Allergen token (I used the tall goldenrod piece) upon the matching flavor. The game may now begin!
The solo player is always the starting player, so they will open the first trick by playing a card from hand. As in most card games, whichever flavor (suit) is led will need to be followed by Emma, if possible. The rulebook gives the player a nice turn-flow summary for Emma based on which player leads and which type of card is played.

As in Euchre, suit must be followed. If a player is unable to follow, they may play a Royal (trump) card to win the trick or any other non-Royal card. The Royal flavors are both flavors that belong to the same Group, or Green Tea, as it is its own Group. For each trick won, the player will advance their meeple on the Gift Box track to denote number of tricks won. Some card rules adjust the scoring. For example, should a value 1 card win the trick the winning player will increase their number of Gift Boxes three spaces instead of one. Should a trick include an Allergen flavor the winning player will still lead the next trick but will not advance their Gift Box meeple, as Allergens make the royal family sick. However, should a trick contain a value 2 card in it, the 2 cancels the Allergen and the winner may advance their Gift Box meeple as normal.


The round ends when a player, or Emma, has finished their hand of 13 cards played or reaches eight or more Gift Boxes (won tricks). Setup for a new round as the game was initially setup with dealing cards to each player and determining Royal and Allergen flavors. Play continues in this fashion until the player or Emma has reached the pre-determined score of 10, 20, or 30. The winner must now get to baking (again, I added that, but it REALLLLLY needs to happen, I think)!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game (though still pretty good) and the final components will certainly be different than the ones shown here. That said, the art style is simply wonderful and incredibly enjoyable. Yes, the Score board is a little busy, but it’s functional and fun. The art on the cards is very good, colorblind-friendly with icons in addition to colors, and the art doesn’t get in the way of playing tricks at all. All the other components used in the game will probably be different upon a successful Kickstarter campaign, and though I haven’t seen the proposed components, I am sure they will match the theme and be great to handle.

So as a lover of Euchre, am I also a lover of Macaron? ABSOLUTELY! It takes everything I enjoy about Euchre and somehow simplifies AND complexifies it. Teaching Euchre to new players can be a chore when they don’t latch onto the fact that the highest cards in the game are the Jacks of the same color of trump, but one is higher than the other. It can be awkward at first. Here, there are one or two flavors that are trump suits. It makes sense to be able to visualize a bit easier, and to be able to relate to flavors. In fact, my 4-year-old son wanted to “play” it earlier this morning, so I took out the Allergen mechanic and just did straight suit-following with trumps and he understood it. So, I guess by house-ruling a little you can also play this with children who are learning games for the first time, learning their numbers, or learning trick-taking games. That’s a fun hidden side quest!

Now, I can see how people will totally dig Macaron as a multiplayer game, but I am previewing this as a solo game. Is it just as good? Yep! I like being able to play the game whenever I want, and using another mechanic I didn’t describe earlier – Betting. Having to bet upon how many Gift Boxes you will score for the round adds another layer of analyzation I particularly enjoy. If you guess correctly you score an additional two Gift Boxes. If you’re wrong Emma scores two Boxes. Couple this with Emma’s unpredictable card play and you have an interesting AI player that you may never be able to “figure out” and beat methodically. I like that randomness from Emma. She has made a few games close, but ultimately has lost every game against me.

Macaron is a cute little Euchre-style card game that can be played well solo and multiplayer, and features wonderful style. I love the theme, and I seem to be attracted to food games; I love Bohnanza, Morels, Happy Salmon (my favorite fish to eat), Sushi Go!, Coconuts, and The Three Little Pigs (ok that one was mean, but hey, I love pork)! If you also enjoy food-related games, or trick-taking games, or just fun little card games you can play solo or with other people, please consider backing Macaron via their Kickstarter campaign launching soon. Tell them Purple Phoenix Games sent you and I will share my Gift Box of Macarons with you**. You will have to let me know your food allergies prior, though.

** I don’t actually have a Gift Box of Macarons. That was a lie, and I apologize for that.
  
The Bloody Inn
The Bloody Inn
2015 | Adult, Economic, Horror
It’s cliche to post a game review like this so near to Halloween, so I will probably hold off on that. However, what a perfect game to go along with the macabre tone of the Halloween season! Get this: you and your family own a motel in a small town where many travelers stop to rest. You are strapped for cash, so what is a logical step in achieving wealth? Of course! Murdering and robbing your customers upon their stays! No? Not a typical business model? Unsustainable? Pfft. You just aren’t robbing the right customers…

The Bloody Inn is a card-drafting, hand management, horror game of recruiting accomplices and having them carry out dastardly deeds to secure the most money at the end of the game. In it, players take on the roles of one of the inn’s staff members and control pawns in their evil schemes in order to swindle and kill for mountains of francs (it’s set in France, pre-Euro).


To setup, place the main board on the table, give each player the components of their color choice, two Peasant cards, a 10 franc (f) check, and a player aid card. The “traveler deck” is assembled and shuffled per the rules, and placed on the Entrance side of the board. Players choose one room to place a key token in their color, and several gray neutral key tokens are placed in other rooms. Unsuspecting travelers will be staying in these rooms each night. Per the rules, the greediest player is given the first player card and the mischief may begin!
The Bloody Inn is played over several rounds, and each round has players completing three phases: Welcome Travelers, Player Actions, and End of Round. Players will Welcome Travelers to signify the start of the round by the first player drawing one card from the deck at a time and choosing in which room they will be placed.

After Travelers have been welcomed and turn in for the evening, the second phase may begin: Player Actions. In turn order players will be able to perform two actions each round. Players may choose from five different actions, and actions can be repeated for the second action of the round. Players may Bribe a Guest by discarding cards from hand equal to the printed value on the target card’s front. Initially all players simply employ the two starter Peasants, so Bribing is only performed on cards that show a value of 0-2. When a player Bribes a guest, they essentially spend cards from hand to recruit the new guest to their employ. These new employees (accomplices) are then available to be used on future actions. One or two Peasants may also be Bribed from the bistro, adding to a player’s hand of usable human resources.

A player may instead choose to Kill a Guest by similarly discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and adding the freshly-slain guest to their tableau, face-down. The card backs feature a coffin with their “rank” (action number) printed on it. Corpses normally cause no issues, but they will need to be buried under an Annex in order to collect the money in their pockets. Players may use an action to Build an Annex by discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and using a card from hand to build and staff the Annex. Annexes can be used for the action printed on the card bottom, and/or as a housing for corpses, with the Corpses being sent to any player’s Annex via the Bury a Corpse action. Discard the requisite number of accomplices to bury a corpse, and avoid suspicion from the Law.

If none of these actions are attractive to the player, or if they simply wish, they may instead Pass and launder money from the village notary. To do this, either reduce the number of francs from the Wealth Track on the main board in order to gain a 10f check, or turn in a check for 10f on the Wealth Track.

Once all players have taken their two actions, the End of Round is performed. Firstly, if any Travelers remain belonging to the Police type (signified by pistol icons on the top of the card), they will conduct an investigation, finding any unburied corpses. Should a corpse be found in this way, the owning player will need to pay 10f for the local undertaker to dispose of the body respectfully. This not only costs the player 10f, but also the amount of money that could have been gained if they had only buried them or dealt with the Police traveler prior. Next, the Travelers who remain all wake up feeling refreshed and leave the inn by being placed in the discard pile. Once the board has been cleared of all Travelers, accomplices must be paid their wages for their help. For each accomplice in hand, the players must pay 1f from the Wealth Track.


Play continues in this fashion until the main Traveler deck has been depleted twice. Then, players add up their francs and the player with the most in francs and checks is the winner, and just the greatest little murderer/robber/briber in all the land!
Components. This game really has a modest amount of components, but they are all similarly great quality. The main board acts as the inn’s room display, the Wealth Track, AND the bistro (where Peasants are discarded, as opposed to being placed in the normal discard pile). I love when components pull double or triple duty. That said, the player aids not only remind the players of the phases and actions from which they may choose, but it also provides the player with a starter Annex that can be used to bury their first corpse! HOW COOL IS THAT?! However, the greatest thing that stands out in regards to the components is the overall look and feel of the game. The character artist for this one is Weberson Santiago, and he has also illustrated games such as the new Quest (the new version of The Resistance: Avalon), Coup, and the new Whirling Witchcraft. I adore his art style, even though I shouldn’t. My typical preference of character art is semi-realism (like that of Kwanchai Moriya), but this style is really unique and perfectly applied to the theme. Great matchup of artist and game here. I do have one silly wish for this game: PLEASE change the player colors. I mean, I am so tired of having the choice between red, blue, green, and yellow. Take a Cue from my good friend Scott Brady and use one of the more interesting color choices. I mean, even to fit in with the theme here a more appropriate palette could include a brown, black, orange, and yellow or something. Be bold!!

I knew right away that this was a great game for me. Yes, the theme is super dark and macabre, which is rare for me to enjoy, but I would only play this with adults anyway so I am unbothered by it. However, the puzzle that lies within this box is one that I thoroughly enjoy solving every round. What I neglected to mention up top is the fact that when actions are taken (Bribing, Killing, Building Annexes, and Burying Corpses) if you happen to have certain card types in hand, then the cost of discards is reduced by the number of cards present. For example, if I were to Bribe a Police card from the rooms in my first action, they have an affinity for killing (messed up, I know) and will thus help me to perform a Kill action on the next turn by reducing the number of accomplices I would need to discard for that action. Side benefit: by taking the Police Travelers off the board, they then will not perform their investigations in the morning.

Another aspect I truly enjoy about The Bloody Inn is that many cards have that dual-purpose mechanic I appreciate. The player aid is also an Annex. Brilliant! Many of the Annex cards can also offer one-time or recurring powers. It’s just so satisfying to grab cards that can combo well with each other in order to fulfill your evil plans. Every card is important, and when they can offer more than one benefit, I am a happy gamer.

I cannot express how happy I am to have decided to purchase this one. I have seen the BGG ratings and rankings, but always thought I wouldn’t like it due to its very adult theme, but boy was I wrong! This is one of the best games I have played recently and I hope to even bling it out a bit, maybe even with new player colors like I suggested earlier. Laura and my wife were able to join me for this one and they agree with me – this one is excellent and definitely worth consideration into anyone’s collection. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a dastardly 15 / 18. Yeah, it’s perfect for Halloweentime, but also for ANY time. If you are looking for something a little grim and grisly with lighter rules and lots of interesting choices, you need to check out The Bloody Inn. Grab lots of Police cards and go on a killing spree for me!
  
Descent: Journeys in the Dark (Second Edition)
Descent: Journeys in the Dark (Second Edition)
2012 | Adventure, Exploration, Fantasy, Fighting, Miniatures
Plenty of expansions (1 more)
Decent quality miniatures
App can be buggy (1 more)
One side can snowball after a couple of wins
Descent: Journeys In The Dark has been around a long time now, starting as a huge dungeon crawler and morphing into a tactical skirmish / objective-based campaign game. It is supposed to be played with 2-5 players with 1 player being the "Overlord", controlling all the monsters and playing nasty cards on the other players playing the group of heroes (at least 2 heroes required). The game is a fun dice-chucker with a decent amount of strategy and on the whole, well balanced.

With a couple of big-box and half a dozen small-box expansions, not to mention the various hero & monster packs, there is a ton of stuff available and if you own everything, you will be able to choose from 72 heroes with 22 different class decks; fight against 45 different monster types, and encounter around 15 lieutenants over a total of 182 different scenarios. That's plenty to keep you quiet for a while.


So many cards...
Descent: An Overview In The Dark

Descent is a scenario-based game where you work through a tree of different missions, choosing the next one based on whether the heroes or the Overlord worn the last. Each scenario will have specific objectives - anything from stealing an item and reaching the exit to interrogating prisoners and defeating a fearsome Lieutenant of the Overlord. Some of the monsters to be encountered are specified in the scenario text with other free groups able to be chosen from traits specific to that scenario. This gives some variety meaning you will never face exactly the same monsters if you replay the scenarios.

The good players choose a hero from the stack of basic skill types - Fighter, Healer, Scout or Mage and then choose from one of the many class decks for each type so the Fighter could be a Knight or a Berzerker, the Mage a Necromancer and the Healer a Bard, etc. These decks give each hero their skills and form their general strategy.

Meanwhile, the Overlord player chooses one of two Basic decks of cards that will form the base of his defence against the heroes. One deck is more about springing traps while the other has more things to enhance monster attacks. After choosing the basic deck, the Overlord can choose a specialist deck. These can be used to fine tune the Overlord's strategy and at first, only one card is available, the others will be purchased with experience points after each scenario. Finally, if the relevant expansion packs are available, the Overlord can choose a Lieutenant deck which adds further depth to his strategy and also offers the chance to bring a powerful figure into play later in the campaign.


Solo? How So? Redjak has the answer.

With all that going on, it sounds like a fairly daunting if not impossible task to play a solo game of Descent but a fan going by the name of Redjak created two card-driven AI decks - Redjak's Automated Monster Variant (RAMV) and Redjak's Automated Overlord Variant (RAOV). These decks both allow a player, or group of players to play the game as a fully co-operative experience with the cards replacing the Overlord player.

I will say that it is preferable if you have a grasp of the basic rules before jumping into these variants as there can be a lot going on if you are trying to learn the game and the solo rules at the same time. It's probably best to only choose two heroes at first as playing four heroes is more involved but ultimately more rewarding.

These variants are available to download and print out and are also available from the Printer Studio website if you search, although if you are not in the US, then shipping gets expensive.


RAMV

The Monster AI deck is the simpler of the two AI's, being just concerned with the monster actions and leaving out all the Overlord's cards. I haven't played much with this variant but the rules are fairly straightforward. You will set up 4 decks - an Event deck, a Dark Influence deck, a Conditions deck and a Monster deck.

After choosing a scenario to play, you draw cards from the Monster deck, finding ones with icons matching those of the current scenario. This keeps things random and you will always have different things to fight. The selected monster groups will then be placed in "Teams" underneath a row of team cards that will give them their activation order. Finally you will place the encounter objective card for the current scenario. This will give you specific things for each monster group to focus on in terms of stopping you from winning.

You will take your turn alternating hero and monster groups, drawing cards at various points when the monsters should react to attacks, certain scenario triggers ond other in-game events.

It is a fairly simple system but it works really well, giving a solid, straightforward dungeon crawl feel of exploring a map and fighting monsters while trying to complete your quest. Definitely a good starting point and good if you want a 'quick' dungeon crawl.


RAOV

This is the meat, the full experience. Although daunting at first, if you are familiar with the game rules (and have possibly played RAMV a bit), then it will make sense once you get stuck in.

RAOV differs over RAMV in only having one deck, but the rule book is more in depth describing how everything gets played.

You set up as normal, decide on what decks the Overlord will be playing with, draw his starting hand of cards placing them face up on the table. (This variant uses D10 dice anytime you have to make selections)

and take all your heroes actions. If at any point one of your actions would trigger an Overlord card, then that card is played and discarded. Having an open hand means that there are fewer surprises and the Overlord cant be as evil as a human player would be, but it is still tricky and knowing what cards might trigger forces you to think about your strategy in a different way.

Once the heroes have all activated, then the Overlord take its turn, playing any cards that would trigger at the start of the turn. Then, you flip over the top card of the AI deck and activate the first monster group. These cards have a primary target, shown by the corresponding hero symbol and several secondary targets. This gives the monster a focus for its actions. The main text of the card is a list of actions and essentially you work down the list doing whatever actions you are able. Each monster that activates will draw a new card and follow it's orders.

That in a nutshell is it. The Overlord's cards will trigger at the first available opportunity and the monsters will follow a list of options. Once you get used to it, it flows really well and doesn't feel too fiddly at all.

An Open Dungeon

As well as the two AI variants, Redjak also created Delven Deep - a deck of cards each displaying a different map tile that you can use to play a completely randomly generated dungeon crawl. I have yet to try this out, but it is another option if you don't fancy playing through a scripted scenario and just want to explore a random map, killing things.


For The Digital Generation

Fantasy Flight Games have also released an official, free companion app on Android, Steam and IOS that will take control of the Overlord player. This app comes with, I think 2 campaigns - a short training story and a larger, full campaign. Other campaigns a random dungeon generator are available to purchase in the app. None of the printed scenarios are playable using this app and it doesn't use any of the overlord cards, plot decks, event cards or encounter cards.

I will say that I am not a fan of apps for board games and it was actually this app in particular that soured me on the whole idea. Many people really enjoy this app and it has breathed a new lease of life into the game, but unfortunately on my first playthrough, it decided to crash near to the end of a campaign and I essentially lost 6 hours of gaming. I would have had to start all over again from the beginning. That was not a fun experience and put me off completely.

The app borrows heavily from Redjak's work, giving you a list of options to work through when activating the monsters, and various other triggers. Unlike the printed scenarios, all the maps in the digital stories are hidden until you explore them, so you never know what you will encounter. Also, there is a hidden timer in the program that means if you take too long exploring, fighting or whatever, then the game will start throwing nastier and nastier events at you. This makes the game much more of a race than its cardboard cousin and ramps up the difficulty at a fast pace making you feel like you never have enough time to do what you want.

In My opinion, RAOV is the best way to play Descent solo. It uses absolutely everything in the box and gives the most realistic feeling of playing the complete game.
  
TE
The Exalted Gate
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
(This review can be found on my blog <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>.


I absolutely love the cover of this book. It is gorgeous!! Anyway, this book has ten stories in it, so I will review and rate each one individually.
*
Boots

Judith (of an undisclosed age) is a girl that hates wearing shoes. However, she is in a play where she has to play a Polish tramp. She doesn't want to wear shoes, but the director says even tramps wear shoes. She finds some beat up looking boots in the prop room and puts them on. As soon as they are on her feet, it's like they have a mind of their own. They take Judith where they want to go. What ensues in an adventure that Judith won't soon forget.

I thought the story of Boots was a really cute and interesting read. I definitely think this will appeal to children of all ages. The only slight problem was with punctuation, but that's nothing that major. Judith is an interesting girl. I'd recommend this story.

I'd give Boots a 4.5 out of 5.
*
Five Gifts

Lonia is a thirteen year old girl whose parents are already nagging her to get married. (Yeah, it's a bit much, but it does say in the story that this was way back in the day). She'd rather spend her days in the children's glade talking to her elf friend, Pintak. One day, Pintak is kidnapped by a mean old wizard, and Lonia decides that she must go rescue him. She is given five gifts from different creatures of the forest to help her on her quest.

I was impressed with this story, and I found it quite interesting. There's also a lesson to be learned about experimenting on animals. Lonia was definitely a brave little girl and was willing to risk everything to save her friend. There are a few punctuation mistakes and a mispelt word, but other than that, this story was a good one.

I'd give Five Gifts a 5 out of 5.
*
Sintinko

Sintinko is a story set in Japan back when it was all emperors and generals. The emperor is jealous of Sintinko and wants to have him killed. It's only because of Ilyo, Sintinko's love interest, that the emperor spares his life. However, Sintinko is banished from Japan until he can find a maple tree that can sit in the hand of the emperor. Ilyo and Sintinko know that they will most likely never see each other. Unbeknownst to Sintinko and everyone else, Ilyo disguises herself as a geisha to help Sintinko on his journey. Love and loss are the themes of this story.

This was such a bittersweet love story. I felt sorry for both Sintinko and Ilyo. Sintinko thought he would never see his beloved again and swore off any type of relationship. Ilyo had her beloved right there in front of her, yet she couldn't do anything about it.

The names, being Japanese, were a bit hard to pronounce, but it's easy to get past that since the story is so strong. Speaking of names, this story even lets us know how the Bonsai tree got its name.

There's a few punctuation mistakes, but nothing that takes away from the story.

I think this story would be better suited for ages 11+. Personally, I found the story a bit slow, but not painfully slow.

I'd give Sintinko a 3.5 out of 5.
*
Tivurambhat

Tivurambhat is the story of a ghost by the same name of the title who helps people out in times of need in India. A mean man forces people to work for him by letting them borrow money, putting the interest up, and paying them such low wages they can never afford to pay him pack. One man decides to do something about it and goes to Tivurambhat for help.

I loved the message behind the story. Towards the ending, it even had me smiling. I couldn't pronounce the names since they were all Indian names, so I just shortened them so my American self could pronounce them. I loved the character of Tiv. He kind of reminded me of an American version of Casper for some reason. I really enjoyed the conversation between Pradesh and Tiv the most. This was such a happy story!

Again, there's some punctuation mistakes and a few grammar ones as well, but the story itself was excellent.

I'd give Tivurambhat a 5 out of 5.
*
St. Penalyn's Well

St Penalyn's Well tells the story of Rebecca (of an undisclosed age) who ventures into an overgrown garden with her dog. She stumbles across a well with an inscription. It is while reading this inscription that she becomes trapped in the well. Lucky for her, she meets an elf named Opickle who keeps her company and gives her the inspiration she needs to find her way out.

This was definitely an interesting story. I was hooked all the way through. It's a story about friendship amongst diversity and not giving up. I found Opickle to be just a tad bit of a snob but not enough to put me off the story.

A few punctuation mistakes throughout the story but not enough to be distracting.

St. Penalyn's Well gets a 5 out of 5 from me.
*
Quint and Trout's Mistake

Quint and Trout's Mistake is a story I didn't finish because of the name calling and making fun of someone who is overweight. It starts out innocently enough. A lake is being overrun by a white smelly substance. Two brothers, Quint and Trout, talk their friend Ned into investigating why this is happening. Ned swims down to the bottom of the lake and finds an overweight creature living in a cave who has been kicked out of his house. This is when the name calling starts, and I stopped reading.

I do not like stories aimed at children that condone name calling of any sort whether it be because of weight, disabilities, race, etc. Children do not need to read something like this and feel bad about themselves or view it as an excuse to tease others. I was very disappointed something like this was in a children's book.

Quint and Trout's Mistake gets a 0 out of 5 from me. What a vile story!
*
Densus

Densus is a boy who was born with blue fingernails and blue streaks in his hair. This is because he has a destiny to fulfill. When a crab named Arnold asks him if he'd go tell a giant that he has found a perfect wife for him, Densus agrees because it's his destiny even if there's a possibility the giant could kill him.

This is a story about destinies. It lets us know that we all have destinies if only we weren't too busy trying to find out what they are. This is a fun story which I think children would love! I loved Arnold the crab!! I think a majority of children would love him.

Again, there's a few punctuation and grammar mistakes but nothing major.

I'd give Densus a 5 out of 5.
*
Alice's Granddaughter

Alice's Granddaughter takes place years after Alice in Wonderland. Alice's granddaughter, Alicia, is recruited by a thief named Cheng to go down into a rabbit hole to get him a yellow dragon. Alicia discovers that things in Wonderland haven't changed much.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story! I'm a sucker for everything Alice in Wonderland-esque, and this was no exception! I loved how the author still managed to preserve the original Wonderland in his tale and how he even managed to keep the style of writing similar to that of Lewis Carroll. My favorite character was definitely the talking table. My only gripe is that I wish this story would've been longer!

As like with the previous story, there are some punctuation and grammar mistakes that can be overlooked.

Alice's Granddaughter gets a bit 5 out of 5.
*
The Dragon

The Dragon is a story about death. In this story, we follow a dragon in her very last moments as she dies of what I assume to be old age. We get to see her memories of when she was her prime and when she takes her last breath.

This is a sad story and probably one for the older children unless younger children can handle the topic of death. It's not written in a morbid way though. It's actually written quite beautifully especially when we get to see the memory of the dragon in her prime. I think this story can show that death is not always bad.

There are grammar and punctuation mistakes but nothing that deters from the story.

The Dragon gets a 3.75 out of 5.
*
The Wisdom of a Dog

The Wisdom of a Dog is about a man named Keith and his dog who go on an adventure and wind up in a crystal city. Keith must found out who is destroying the city and save it.

This story was a good read, and I think most children would enjoy it especially as it involves a talking dog. I enjoyed how the author even placed his own dialogue in the story. This is a good versus bad story that shows that bad people never win.

Again, there are grammar and punctuation mistakes, but it doesn't take away from the story.

The Wisdom of a Dog gets a 3.5 out of 5.
*

The Exalted Gate by Daniel Nanavati averages out to a 3.5 out of 5. I'd definitely recommend this book to old and young alike!

(I received a free physical copy of this title from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review).
  
Savages (2012)
Savages (2012)
2012 | Drama, Mystery
6
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Over the past 15 years, Oliver Stone’s films have been kind of hit or miss to me. It’s as if Stone is still trying to make the same controversial films he became popular for in the 80’s and early 90’s. Only, as an audience, we have become keen to his filmmaking style and therefore his more recent work suffers from the apathy of a “show me something new” culture. Still, despite his failures, Stone does not makes apologies for his work while he continues in his quest to make films about controversial subjects. This time around Stone strives to take us into the violent world of the Mexican drug cartels though a film adaptation of the novel Savages by Don Winslow.

As the film opens we are introduced to “O” (Blake Lively) who, as our narrator, acquaints us with the open yet loving relationship she shares with our two protagonists, Chon and Ben. Chon (Taylor Kitsch), an ex-Navy SEAL, is unquestionably the muscle of the trio’s operation. Chon was the original financier for his high school friend Ben, (Aaron Johnson) the peaceful, charitable, botany genius who has created the most potent marijuana in the world. Together these two embody the perfect man for O, while the three of them enjoy the spoils of the small marijuana empire they created in southern California.

That is until they gain the attention from a Mexican cartel intent on creating a stronger foothold in the southern California area. The cartel offers them a partnership and explains that by teaming up their business will triple in three years. But when the trio refuse the offer, the ruthless head of the cartel, Elena (Selma Hayek), instructs her enforcer, Lado (Benicio Del Toro), to kidnap O and hold her hostage so the boys will cooperate. Soon our heroes use their network of connections, like crooked DEA agent Dennis (John Travolta) and financial broker Spin (Emile Hirsch), to battle the cartel in a series of savage maneuvers to get back their one “shared” love.

Stone has been known to inspire his actors to give Oscar worthy performances. Sadly, you will not find any such performances here. That is not to say that the acting was terrible. It just seemed that the characters themselves are uninspired which is a shame because I would have liked to have seen some growth in this young cast, especially from Taylor Kitsch.

I feel that many critics will be hard on Taylor Kitsch because of his previous epic fails of 2012 (John Carter and Battleship) however I am surprised to admit that, for this movie at least, he gets a pass in my book. Not because he delivers a fantastic performance that makes me believe he’s truly an up and coming talent, but rather because he is convincing in his portrayal of Chon. When O describes our protagonists as each being one half of the perfect man, she refers to Chon as “Hard Steel,” which is exactly what Kitsch plays him as, a one-dimensional, emotionally devoid character with no growth or any real redeeming qualities other than the ability to go to war. Regardless of whether or not Kitsch has any additional acting range not showcased in this film, I cannot penalize him for his performance in this movie. He fit the part that he was cast in fine.

Blake Lively (Gossip Girl, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) plays O, short for Ophelia. And yes she channels the mad, love-struck, melancholic character from Hamlet after whom she is named. And while it is easy to make those comparisons to the character of this film, they only appear to be on the surface, if anything. And herein lies the problem. Regardless of how you feel about her open relationship with Ben and Chon, the more I learned about her, the less I cared. Like Kitsch’s character, O is boring and one dimensional. She is the product of being a pretty little rich girl whose mother is off somewhere with husband number twelve. She has been getting stoned every day since she was young and the only place she finds herself loved is in with the company of Chon and Ben. Tragic, I know. While watching the film I honestly thought to myself, if I was Ben or Chon, I would say, “Fuck it. Cut her loose and let’s go to Asia.” She has no redeeming qualities other than being good looking and a good lay. So why would they go through so much trouble for her? The trio’s relationship is weakly tied together by her telling us through narration but never really materializes on screen. At times you get some of a feeling that Ben actually loves her but that love is never really reciprocated from O. It is safe to say that that I did not derive any loving connection from Lively’s performance, though her deliver as a narrator was tolerable.

Aaron Johnson (Kick-Ass) is the one redeeming performance from this young cast. In contrast to Chon, O describes Ben as “Soft Wood” which makes him the better half. Ben is the one character who actually goes through some kind of character arc and growth. Using the wood analogy, we watch him bend from the peaceful Buddhist businessman to the man who will sacrifice everything, to get back this woman he loves. Nowhere is this better embodied than when Ben is faced with the tough choice of sticking to his peaceful beliefs or incinerating a man in cold blood during one of their moves against the cartel. I found myself actually curious about what Ben would do next. Unlike Chon and O, Ben has some depth and struggles with his personal beliefs, his love for O and what needs to be done. Needless to say, Johnson delivers a believable performance that actually helps move along the action and was the only protagonist that kept me interested in their battle.

In addition to Johnson, the film is littered with several strong supporting cast members who all deliver solid performances. Selma Hayek is strong as Elena, the leader of the cartel that challenges Ben and Chon. She is a ruthless and shrewd businesswoman and yet has a better “sense of morality” as she explains during her interactions with O and her own daughter. Her enforcer Lado is played by Benicio Del Toro who, with the help of an uncomfortable rapist mustache, comes off as an extremely menacing character. Del Toro solidifies himself on screen by being down right creepy and yet intelligent in his own savage way. During every moment of screen time you expect him to kill someone just because it is good for business.

A needed bit of change of pace is provided by an unexpected performance by Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) as Ben and Chon’s witty financial broker, Spin. As well as by John Travolta who plays Dennis, the dirty DEA agent who’s in Ben and Chon’s pocket. In fact, even though Travolta’s screen time is maybe a total of 12 minutes, his performance steals the show with his sole bit of comic relief, for lack of a better explanation. Perhaps the strongest acted moment of this film is during a standoff scene between Del Toro and Travolta that in many ways makes me want to know more about those characters. And what that movie would be about.

In typical Stone fashion the movie is shot in a variety of film angles and stylistic devices used to foreshadow and at times create a foreboding presence. Visually the movie provides a strong and believable feeling for the world these characters live in and the way that they operate their business. In addition, narration is used at points to move along the action and provide the audience with insight that otherwise would not have been possible on performances alone. I personally have no problem with narration as long as it is set up from the beginning and used to advance the story, which it is. However in the final act, the movie introduces a film device from left field that completely kills the already weak pacing of the movie. I cannot get into it without giving away the story, but I can see how this device could completely ruin the movie for those patrons who are already disinterested by the time the final act rolls around. Especially for those who do not find any connection to any of the characters. In which case, the pacing of this film will seem slow and drawn out.

I am torn about my review of this film. Savages is something that I wanted to like more than I did. Two of the three protagonists are one dimensional and if it was not for Johnson and the strong supporting cast I might have found the movie boring. It was also completely different from the expectations set by the commercials. Those looking for an action movie will feel misled and will more than likely be disappointed with the film. Not that there is not any action, only it comes between very long periods of dialogue and slow pacing. By the end of the movie, you are either invested in these characters or just waiting for the lights to come up in the theater. And in typical Oliver Stone fashion the movie tries to make us question our own perception of just what it means to be a savage.
  
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Another film ruined by Endgame's splendour
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Rise of Skywalker

Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.

With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.

I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.