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My Dark Vanessa
My Dark Vanessa
Kate Elizabeth Russell | 2020 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry
10
9.6 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
At fifteen, the very bright Vanessa Wye earns a scholarship position to boarding school. It's the year 2000. There she meets Jacob Strane, her English teacher, who is forty-two-years-old. Soon the two are involved in a powerful relationship--and one that quickly turns sexual. Seventeen years later, Vanessa is working as a concierge at a hotel, just another in a series of dead-end jobs. She hasn't had any real serious relationships. And now, Jacob Strane, has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, Taylor Birch. Taylor tracks down Vanessa, wanting her to share her story, too. But Vanessa doesn't feel she was abused by Strane. In fact, her entire life is framed by her love story with Strane. As Taylor Birch's story gains traction in the press, Vanessa must confront her past and what it means to her.


"'I'm going to ruin you.' He says it with obvious torment, a glimpse into how much he's thought about it, wrestled with it."


This book...wow. I was absolutely captivated by Vanessa's story. She tells her tale in two parts: her adolescence, as she meets Jacob Strane at school and they begin their relationship; and then the present, as Taylor Birch's story hits the press and Vanessa must deal with the fact that her love for Jacob Strane is being portrayed as abuse and assault.


"It's strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I'll think of this."


For a book with such dark subject matter, it's really beautiful. Russell is a wonderful writer, and this story unfolds almost lyrically. It's so well-done and completely mesmerizing. The sections featuring young Vanessa capture that early adolescent yearning and longing so perfectly--that deep desire to feel needed and wanted. To Vanessa, this is a love story, a romantic tale of a man needing and loving her. She blocks out and overlooks the parts of the story that don't fit. Understanding that some victims don't see abuse as abuse is key to the story, and Russell portrays the dynamic between Strane and Vanessa so well.


"'It's just my luck,' he said, 'that when I finally find my soul mate, she's fifteen years old.'"


As a result, we get a very thoughtful look at abuse, rape, and assault. And, yes, the sections of older Vanessa's story touch across the #metoo movement, as Taylor Birch and others want so desperately for Vanessa to join their side, to share her story. For them or for Vanessa, it's hard to say. This book is so dark, yet so insightful. Vanessa's inner struggle--basically she's having to re-look at the entire foundation upon which her life is built--is one of the most profoundly written and moving journeys I've seen in literature in quite some time. It's not easy to read about, certainly, and it's not always easy to understand her actions, of course. The story can make you uncomfortable; it can feel problematic. But it's an important read, and it's so beautifully and poetically written. I highly recommend it (taking into account the obvious trigger warnings, of course). 4.5+ stars.
  
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In the Role of Brie Hutchens...
In the Role of Brie Hutchens...
Nicole Melleby | 2020 | LGBTQ+, Young Adult (YA)
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Brie Hutchens is an eighth-grader at a Catholic school. She loves soap operas and dreams of being the star of the school play. She wants to go to drama school next year. Brie also has feelings that she's pretty sure are different than the other kids at her school. For instance, she gets a fluttery feeling looking at photos online of her favorite soap opera actress. But when Brie's (very religious) mom walks in on her doing so, Brie freaks out and tells her Mom she's been chosen to crown the Mary statue at her school's ceremony. She hasn't of course, and even worse, she probably stands no chance at earning the gig, since it usually goes to a top student. One like Kennedy, whom Brie usually avoids. But as Brie starts to spend a little more time with Kennedy, she realizes Kennedy gives her the same feeling as that soap actress. And that none of this is going to make her mother happy (or help her crown Mary).

This is a very sweet, heartwarming, and touching story about a young girl finding her way and finding herself. I'm a sucker for coming of age stories, but when they are lesbian coming of age stories? I'm sold. Brie is an interesting character, who even comes across a little ungrateful at times--though perhaps she's just a typical teenager. She's embarrassed her dad works at her school and often seems a bit self-centered and in her own world. Okay, yeah, she's a teenager. But her battle with her sexual identity is certainly one I could identify with and it's presented in a lovely and truthful way. It's exactly the kind of book kids this age need, especially teens being raised in a religious environment.

The book is more religious than I expected, but it's not off-putting. As someone whose first love love came from a religious Catholic family, I saw so much of my past life in this book. I loved the fact that Brie is a soap fan--as kid who grew up loving Dallas, Days of Our Lives, Passions, and Sunset Beach, this part of the book was totally fun. Yet, Melleby worked in the angle in a serious way, too, as Brie uses soaps as a way to realize that maybe she isn't so different after all (thank you, soaps, for having some progressive characters ahead of your time).


"But when Brie and her mom sat in the living room, watching their soaps, Brie forgot they had so little in common."


Brie is fun and sweet and she's decidedly her own person, yet scared of how her religious mom and her Catholic school friends might see her if she reveals she likes girls. Her agonizing over this, her fear of coming out, is raw and realistic. The difficultly of coming out really resonates here, and Melleby does a wonderful job capturing how hard it is, even now.

Overall, this is a lovely and tender book--funny and sweet--and a great children's/YA read. If you love coming of age stories, YA novels, or any LQBTIA youth fiction, I think this novel will tug at your heartstrings.
  
Stillwater (2021)
Stillwater (2021)
2021 | Crime, Drama
1
5.5 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
The film Stillwater is based upon and exploits the Amanda Knox story. Swapping Italy for the town of Marseille, France, Allison (Abigail Breslin), an American university student is convicted of killing her girlfriend, Lina. Bill (Matt Damon), Allison’s estranged father, visits her regularly in prison, and is convinced of her innocence.
The majority of the film focuses on Bill’s quest to prove her innocence. Bill is a roughneck (oil driller), good ol’ boy Okie from Stillwater. After delivering a letter to Allison’s lawyer with new information, he takes it upon himself to find the main suspect, Akim, with the help of Virginie (Camille Cottin). This is completely against Allison’s wishes, because she sees him, and herself, as a ‘fuck-up’.
Bill develops a relationship with Virginie, and her daughter, Maya (Lilou Siauvaud). After Allison refuses to see him anymore, Bill stays with Virginie, as a friend, helps with Maya, and goes native. Honestly, the subplot of this relationship with Virginie that progresses to a romantic relationship, and the fatherly relationship to Maya, slow the film down to a snail’s pace. The story finally picks up again, when Bill takes Maya to a football game, and he captures Akim. Bill collects DNA from Akim, hands it to an ex-cop, then finally learns the truth of what happened with the murder of Lina. This situation ruins his relationship with his new French family, and he goes back to Stillwater, quickly followed by Allison, after she is released after the DNA matches what was left at the crime scene.
I was originally pretty excited to see the film, but then I read a Vanity Fair interview with the director, Tom McCarthy. McCarthy mentioned that he wanted to be in the shoes of Amanda Knox, or something like that. Knox, who was found not guilty for the murder of Meredith Kercher, was probably very available. Knox came out after the article was published and voiced that her story was being exploited. Reading her responses made me have really icky feelings, and I almost didn’t go see it, because they’re profiting off her story. To be fair, Knox is profiting off her own story as well, but it still isn’t right. This situation hurt the film, in my opinion, and I think the box office numbers in the US reflect that as well. I would have rated this film higher, and enjoyed it more, had I not seen the press surrounding it. I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad thing.
Damon did well in his portrayal of an Okie roughneck, and you could tell he really did study to nail the role. Breslin was neither here nor there, and I didn’t necessarily sympathize with her at all. So, I didn’t really care in the end if she got out of prison or not.
This film clocks in at 2 hours and 20 minutes, and it felt like a 2 hour and 20-minute film. I didn’t like the subplot, at all. It made the movie so bloated, and I kind of just wanted it to end. I don’t think this film is going to do well outside of the US, at all.