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Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Killing Gunther (2017) in Movies
Jun 19, 2019
Action Superstar Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to action in the new film “Killing Gunther”. The film is a documentary style fusion of comedy and action and involves a collection of assassins gathering to kill an elite assassin named Gunther (Arnold Schwarzenegger). The group’s motives are varied but many simply want to make a name for themselves by taking out the top name in their profession.
The leader of the team is Blake (Taran Killam), and he has a range of reasons for wanting Gunther dead and has hired a documentary film crew to capture every moment of his mission.
Unfortunately Blake and his crew are highly dysfunctional and they have to supplement their crew with some unstable and unproven recruits as the more established members of their profession know better than to cross Gunther.
The team learns quickly that there plans are already known to Gunther and he starts toying with them in a series of well-timed hit and run missions. Every time the team thinks they have the drop on Gunther, he seems to turn the tables on them and slip away, reducing their ranks in the process.
Blake soon finds his life falling apart as his actions have drawn the attention of the authorities and he finds himself unable to return to his home and forced to take up residence with his tech guy.
As Blake goes all in on his mission life and other complications arise for the team which makes for an all-out finale to accomplish his goal.
While the premise of the film is entertaining it does tend to drag on at many points and labors to get to Schwarzenegger. Part of this is due to Taran Killam being the Writer and Director for the film as well. He has a background that includes Saturday Night Live and short sitcoms and sketch comedies. He has crafted a very interesting premise but one that would have been better in a series of short sketches or in a shorter film.
Schwarzenegger seems to be enjoying himself and the campy nature of his role and he at times parodies himself with some lines lifted from “Predator”, yet seems to do so with a wink and a smile to the audience.
Schwarzenegger fans may find the film interesting enough to watch in the theaters but my advice would be to watch this on demand or wait to rent or stream it.
http://sknr.net/2017/10/18/killing-gunther/
The leader of the team is Blake (Taran Killam), and he has a range of reasons for wanting Gunther dead and has hired a documentary film crew to capture every moment of his mission.
Unfortunately Blake and his crew are highly dysfunctional and they have to supplement their crew with some unstable and unproven recruits as the more established members of their profession know better than to cross Gunther.
The team learns quickly that there plans are already known to Gunther and he starts toying with them in a series of well-timed hit and run missions. Every time the team thinks they have the drop on Gunther, he seems to turn the tables on them and slip away, reducing their ranks in the process.
Blake soon finds his life falling apart as his actions have drawn the attention of the authorities and he finds himself unable to return to his home and forced to take up residence with his tech guy.
As Blake goes all in on his mission life and other complications arise for the team which makes for an all-out finale to accomplish his goal.
While the premise of the film is entertaining it does tend to drag on at many points and labors to get to Schwarzenegger. Part of this is due to Taran Killam being the Writer and Director for the film as well. He has a background that includes Saturday Night Live and short sitcoms and sketch comedies. He has crafted a very interesting premise but one that would have been better in a series of short sketches or in a shorter film.
Schwarzenegger seems to be enjoying himself and the campy nature of his role and he at times parodies himself with some lines lifted from “Predator”, yet seems to do so with a wink and a smile to the audience.
Schwarzenegger fans may find the film interesting enough to watch in the theaters but my advice would be to watch this on demand or wait to rent or stream it.
http://sknr.net/2017/10/18/killing-gunther/
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Miss Bala (2019) in Movies
Jul 2, 2019
Gloria (Gina Rodriguez), a makeup artist in Los Angeles, heads to Tijuana for a fun weekend with her best friend, Suzu (Cristina Rodlo). Gloria is going to help Suzu prepare for the Miss Baja California beauty pageant. They decide to head to a club to rub elbows with one of the more important judges, Chief Saucedo (Damian Alcazar). That is when a fun trip turns into a nightmare, several members of a local cartel, Estrella (Spanish for star), break in and start shooting up the club. The leader of Estrella, Leno (Ismael Cruz Cordova), believes that Chief Saucedo is trying to cut into his business and is there to assassinate him. Gloria escapes but gets separated from Suzu. She searches all night and calls the hospitals but can’t find her friend. She finds a police officer to have him help search and tells him he saw the attackers. Instead of taking her to the police station he delivers her to Estrella and Leno. He agrees to help her find her friend but there is a price. Now Gloria will have go to great lengths to find her friend and survive a deadly battle between a cartel and the police from right in the middle of the chaos.
Gina Rodriguez is really good in this film. I thought her performance was definitely the best part of this film. Otherwise the performances were a mix bag of good and bad. Cruz Cordova in particular failed to really come across as a scary, but sensitive, cartel leader. The cameo by Anthony Mackie was a surprise. The story is really interesting and there were times that were suspenseful. The action was decent with some good scenes. The issue was there were also some campy performances and scene set ups that felt rushed. The film was shot decently and the music fit well. The end, which I would not dare spoil, really fell short of all of the buildup.
Before looking for a trailer for this movie I did not know that this was a remake of a 2012 film of the same name. I would be interested to see this film to compare the two because I enjoyed the story. This film missed on some points but really did entertain me for the hour and forty-four minutes. I would say that you could save this for streaming or rental. I don’t think that it would be a movie I would watch again in the theater.
Gina Rodriguez is really good in this film. I thought her performance was definitely the best part of this film. Otherwise the performances were a mix bag of good and bad. Cruz Cordova in particular failed to really come across as a scary, but sensitive, cartel leader. The cameo by Anthony Mackie was a surprise. The story is really interesting and there were times that were suspenseful. The action was decent with some good scenes. The issue was there were also some campy performances and scene set ups that felt rushed. The film was shot decently and the music fit well. The end, which I would not dare spoil, really fell short of all of the buildup.
Before looking for a trailer for this movie I did not know that this was a remake of a 2012 film of the same name. I would be interested to see this film to compare the two because I enjoyed the story. This film missed on some points but really did entertain me for the hour and forty-four minutes. I would say that you could save this for streaming or rental. I don’t think that it would be a movie I would watch again in the theater.
Jesters_folly (230 KP) rated The Banana Splits Movie (2019) in Movies
Jan 3, 2020
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Banana Splits Movie
Isn’t it nice when a network tries to reboot an old children’s favourite? It seems to be happening a lot these days with Netflix reviving Voltron, She-Ra and the Dark Crystal. They have taken a different approach with the Banana Splits though. The starting premise is that the Banana Splits show was never cancelled and, for his ninth birthday Harley is taken to a live filming of the show. Drooper, Fleegle, Snorky and Bingo are all there but the actors have been replaced with animatronics and they have three human friends they interact with (Paige, Stevie and Thadd). The show is still the same as when it first started way back in the 1960s with silly sketches, fun catchphrases and an assault course for the kids although the show has gathered a cult following (as it would in real life) and half the audience are adults.
As the live filming gets under way the actors are informed that this will be the final show as the network has cancelled it, this news is met with mixed reactions from the crew. The Banana splits however only have one reaction, they are programmed that ‘The Show Must Go On’ so, during the back stage tour they begin to make sure that it will never stop. They kidnap all the children, after all the show will always need an audience, and they start to kill or torture all the adults.
Yes, that’s right, someone took a beloved children’s show and added a splash of the ‘Child's Play’ remake and a whole ton of ‘Five Nights At Freddy’s’. To be clear this is a horror/slasher that’s rated 18 (R rated in the USA) that features a group of 60’s children’s characters going on a killing spree because their show got cancelled. It’s campy, it’s dark, it actually builds up to the kills and it has some really good characters and scenes, I especially like Poppy’s story line.
So, we have a film based on a 60’s children’s series that’s been turned into a horror whilst still sticking to its roots that is defiantly not for kids and isn’t a total pile of rubbish.
As a side note I did read that the Banana Splits movie came about because Warner Bros wanted to make a ‘Five Nights At Freddie’s’ movie but they couldn’t get the rights so they made this. not sure how true it is but there are similarities.
Isn’t it nice when a network tries to reboot an old children’s favourite? It seems to be happening a lot these days with Netflix reviving Voltron, She-Ra and the Dark Crystal. They have taken a different approach with the Banana Splits though. The starting premise is that the Banana Splits show was never cancelled and, for his ninth birthday Harley is taken to a live filming of the show. Drooper, Fleegle, Snorky and Bingo are all there but the actors have been replaced with animatronics and they have three human friends they interact with (Paige, Stevie and Thadd). The show is still the same as when it first started way back in the 1960s with silly sketches, fun catchphrases and an assault course for the kids although the show has gathered a cult following (as it would in real life) and half the audience are adults.
As the live filming gets under way the actors are informed that this will be the final show as the network has cancelled it, this news is met with mixed reactions from the crew. The Banana splits however only have one reaction, they are programmed that ‘The Show Must Go On’ so, during the back stage tour they begin to make sure that it will never stop. They kidnap all the children, after all the show will always need an audience, and they start to kill or torture all the adults.
Yes, that’s right, someone took a beloved children’s show and added a splash of the ‘Child's Play’ remake and a whole ton of ‘Five Nights At Freddy’s’. To be clear this is a horror/slasher that’s rated 18 (R rated in the USA) that features a group of 60’s children’s characters going on a killing spree because their show got cancelled. It’s campy, it’s dark, it actually builds up to the kills and it has some really good characters and scenes, I especially like Poppy’s story line.
So, we have a film based on a 60’s children’s series that’s been turned into a horror whilst still sticking to its roots that is defiantly not for kids and isn’t a total pile of rubbish.
As a side note I did read that the Banana Splits movie came about because Warner Bros wanted to make a ‘Five Nights At Freddie’s’ movie but they couldn’t get the rights so they made this. not sure how true it is but there are similarities.
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated Cats (2019) in Movies
Nov 20, 2020
Cut what worked in the musical and left in what didn't
I had heard that the movie version of the mega-Broadway hit musical CATS was a "total trainwreck" with bizarre performances and CGI that was incomplete and/or incompetently done making these CATS look more like FREAKS, so I was looking forward to a "so bad it's good" experience at the film. But, instead of being horrified or bemused, I felt another emotion while watching this...
BOREDOM.
I've never been a real fan of the Broadway production - I witnessed the original cast back in the early 1980's and had a follow-up viewing of the show on Broadway in the mid-to-late '90's when 2 people I know were in the cast and both times I enjoyed the music (for the most part) and the dancing was SUPERB, but I was left disappointed by the characters and the plot (or lack thereof) of this show.
And...that's the biggest problem with the film version of CATS, Director Tom Hooper (LES MISERABLES) decided to focus this film ON the characters and the performances - headlined by such stalwarts as Dame Judy Dench, Sir Ian McKellen, Idris, Elba, Ray Winstone, Jennifer Hudson, James Cordon and Rebel Wilson - and ignore the spectacle of the musical numbers and, most heinously, ignoring the dancing aspect of this musical. This approach, quite frankly, just did not work.
Now...add onto this questionable CGI (I'm being kind), a languid pace (I'm being kind) and performers who were miscast (I'm looking at you Idris Elba, Rebel Wilson, Ray Winstone and...if I'm being honest...Ian McKellan and Judy Dench), and don't get me started on Jason Derullo's RumTum Tugger and Taylor Swift's Bumbalurna (really?) - they were just plain awful. Derullo, especially, turned a fun, energizing driving character into a boring embodiment of all that is wrong with this film (okay...Rebel Wilson was worse, but still....) the only players in this film that kept my attention were stage performers like Robbie Fairchild (Munkustrap) and Francesca Hayward (Victoria) and they were sidelined for the most part by the bigger names and had their dance numbers eliminated and/or truncated.
I wish they would have gone for the campy "so bad, it's good" style of filmmaking - it, at least, would have kept my interest, but the movie as it is, did not. I was happy when the "Jellicle Cat" was selected at the end - I knew this experience would be over soon.
Letter Grade D
2 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(OfMarquis)
BOREDOM.
I've never been a real fan of the Broadway production - I witnessed the original cast back in the early 1980's and had a follow-up viewing of the show on Broadway in the mid-to-late '90's when 2 people I know were in the cast and both times I enjoyed the music (for the most part) and the dancing was SUPERB, but I was left disappointed by the characters and the plot (or lack thereof) of this show.
And...that's the biggest problem with the film version of CATS, Director Tom Hooper (LES MISERABLES) decided to focus this film ON the characters and the performances - headlined by such stalwarts as Dame Judy Dench, Sir Ian McKellen, Idris, Elba, Ray Winstone, Jennifer Hudson, James Cordon and Rebel Wilson - and ignore the spectacle of the musical numbers and, most heinously, ignoring the dancing aspect of this musical. This approach, quite frankly, just did not work.
Now...add onto this questionable CGI (I'm being kind), a languid pace (I'm being kind) and performers who were miscast (I'm looking at you Idris Elba, Rebel Wilson, Ray Winstone and...if I'm being honest...Ian McKellan and Judy Dench), and don't get me started on Jason Derullo's RumTum Tugger and Taylor Swift's Bumbalurna (really?) - they were just plain awful. Derullo, especially, turned a fun, energizing driving character into a boring embodiment of all that is wrong with this film (okay...Rebel Wilson was worse, but still....) the only players in this film that kept my attention were stage performers like Robbie Fairchild (Munkustrap) and Francesca Hayward (Victoria) and they were sidelined for the most part by the bigger names and had their dance numbers eliminated and/or truncated.
I wish they would have gone for the campy "so bad, it's good" style of filmmaking - it, at least, would have kept my interest, but the movie as it is, did not. I was happy when the "Jellicle Cat" was selected at the end - I knew this experience would be over soon.
Letter Grade D
2 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(OfMarquis)
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated 12 Strong (2018) in Movies
Jul 8, 2019
In the direct aftermath of terrorist attacks of 09/11 the US military was tasked with assisting the people of Afghanistan in taking back control from the Taliban and Al-Qaeda. The one of the first objectives was to help The Northern Alliance, a group of warlords who opposed the Taliban rule, take the strategically critical city of Mazar-i-Sharif in Northern Afghanistan. A team of twelve Green Berets, code name Task Force Dagger, led by Captain Mitch Nelson (Chris Hemsworth) will have to help one of the warlords, General Dostum (Navid Negahban), overtake several Afghan villages before reaching Mazar-i-Sharif. Dostum leads about 200 soldiers and a varying number of militia. They have small arms are the only mode of transportation through the narrow mountain passes is by horse. The Taliban, led by Mullah Razzan (Numan Acar), have over 50,000 soldiers. They also have tanks, missiles, heavy machine guns and a supply line of more men and machinery coming in every day. Nelson and his team will have to go against these overwhelming odds in unknown terrain all on horseback. But these “Horse Soldiers” don’t hesitate and know that they have a job to and if they don’t terrorist will take control of the country and further terrorism will only escalate.
This true story is a well told and evenly paced film. It showed a moment in history and the immediate response by the military. It also told one of the more original stories of war. The Nicolai Fuglsig (Exfil) has some well-done action scenes and overall interesting cinematography. I enjoyed the story and for the most part the cast, which also includes Michael Shannon (The Shape of Water, Boardwalk Empire), Michael Pena (End of Watch, Crash) and Trevante Rhodes (Moonlight). Negahban as Dostum is good as the tough, untrusting warlord. I also enjoyed the mix of action and dialog on strategy. Where this film tends to fail is that for a true story it is made more like a typical action film. It is full of semi-cheesy one liners and poorly timed cliché a motivational moments. I really did enjoy the film but at times I found myself trying not to laugh out loud during what should have been serious plot points.
As far as an action film this was a fun story and brought the gun fights and explosions that you would definitely look for. It also shows some the strategic side of the war. At the end of the night I enjoyed the film even though I thought that it could have been a little more serious and a little less campy.
This true story is a well told and evenly paced film. It showed a moment in history and the immediate response by the military. It also told one of the more original stories of war. The Nicolai Fuglsig (Exfil) has some well-done action scenes and overall interesting cinematography. I enjoyed the story and for the most part the cast, which also includes Michael Shannon (The Shape of Water, Boardwalk Empire), Michael Pena (End of Watch, Crash) and Trevante Rhodes (Moonlight). Negahban as Dostum is good as the tough, untrusting warlord. I also enjoyed the mix of action and dialog on strategy. Where this film tends to fail is that for a true story it is made more like a typical action film. It is full of semi-cheesy one liners and poorly timed cliché a motivational moments. I really did enjoy the film but at times I found myself trying not to laugh out loud during what should have been serious plot points.
As far as an action film this was a fun story and brought the gun fights and explosions that you would definitely look for. It also shows some the strategic side of the war. At the end of the night I enjoyed the film even though I thought that it could have been a little more serious and a little less campy.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated the Xbox Series X version of Immortals: Fenyx Rising in Video Games
Nov 30, 2020
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a rare treat in that it is a game that did not come in with the massive wave of hype that usually accompanies a major release; yet delivers beyond expectations.
The game is set in Ancient Greece and casts players as Fenyx who must travel to set right the many things that have gone wrong along the way.
Greek gods provide humorous narration to help move the story along as there is lots for players to do and see in the game.
Once a character is created; players will have to climb, swim, battle, and solve puzzles in a highly-detailed universe. While some may think the combat would be hack and slash being able to gain advanced weapons such as a divine axe and bow really help mix things up.
The Arrow of Apollo as an example allows players to control the arrow in flight which is ideal for solving puzzles and making precisions shots. I also used it to scout an area by firing it into the air and using it to study the layout of the area.
Puzzles are a big part of the game and being able to hold and throw large boulders is key to defeating large enemies as well as moving large objects onto pressure plates to open doors or move heavy objects into position.
After each main mission; players will be able to obtain new powers by completing a challenge from the Gods. This usually involves jumping from objects, solving puzzles, and combat. Upon completion players will obtain a new device/ability which will help them going forward. I can tell you that having a set of wings really helped cover the map by being able to jump from a cliff and glide to a destination as long as my stamina holds up.
One great mission had me move a large pearl across the land and down hills to the see. Not only was it fun and varied; but it also showed how the missions are not repetitions of the prior ones.
I had several hours invested in the game before the area with the cosmetic options and upgrades arrived and the sheer scale of the game ensures that players will not find this a quick gaming experience.
Combat is a mix of hack and slash and ranged combat; but I am a big fan of smashing enemies with large boulders when able.
Some may have issues with the campy dialogue and delivery of the lines but this would be missing the point as the game is a fun and immersive adventure which will provide gamers with plenty of hours of enjoyment.
4 stars out of 5
The game is set in Ancient Greece and casts players as Fenyx who must travel to set right the many things that have gone wrong along the way.
Greek gods provide humorous narration to help move the story along as there is lots for players to do and see in the game.
Once a character is created; players will have to climb, swim, battle, and solve puzzles in a highly-detailed universe. While some may think the combat would be hack and slash being able to gain advanced weapons such as a divine axe and bow really help mix things up.
The Arrow of Apollo as an example allows players to control the arrow in flight which is ideal for solving puzzles and making precisions shots. I also used it to scout an area by firing it into the air and using it to study the layout of the area.
Puzzles are a big part of the game and being able to hold and throw large boulders is key to defeating large enemies as well as moving large objects onto pressure plates to open doors or move heavy objects into position.
After each main mission; players will be able to obtain new powers by completing a challenge from the Gods. This usually involves jumping from objects, solving puzzles, and combat. Upon completion players will obtain a new device/ability which will help them going forward. I can tell you that having a set of wings really helped cover the map by being able to jump from a cliff and glide to a destination as long as my stamina holds up.
One great mission had me move a large pearl across the land and down hills to the see. Not only was it fun and varied; but it also showed how the missions are not repetitions of the prior ones.
I had several hours invested in the game before the area with the cosmetic options and upgrades arrived and the sheer scale of the game ensures that players will not find this a quick gaming experience.
Combat is a mix of hack and slash and ranged combat; but I am a big fan of smashing enemies with large boulders when able.
Some may have issues with the campy dialogue and delivery of the lines but this would be missing the point as the game is a fun and immersive adventure which will provide gamers with plenty of hours of enjoyment.
4 stars out of 5
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Blockers (2018) in Movies
Jul 8, 2019
Three childhood friends, Sam (Gideon Adlon), Kayla (Geraldine Viswanathan) and Julie (Kathryn Newton, make a pack that they will all have sex for the first time with their dates on prom night. They get together at Julie’s house the night of prom to and get sent off by all families. They head out in a limo for the most memorable night of their lives. Little do they know that Julie left her laptop on with their group chat open. Julie’s mom, Lisa (Leslie Mann), finds the laptop and with the help of Kayla’s dad, Mitchell (John Cena), and Sam’s dad, Hunter (Ike Barinholtz), they decipher the emoji messages and discover the girls’ sex pact. Lisa a single mom, who just found out that her daughter has been accepted to a college thousands of miles away, thinks her daughter is making a huge mistake and wants to confront her. Mitchell, an overprotective father, agrees and they decide to race after the girls to confront them at the dance. Hunter who has been out of his daughter’s life and just wants her to have a great night tries to first talk them out of it, then physically stop them as they get into Lisa’s car. All three in the car they speed off to what will definitely me a memorable prom night for them and their three daughters.
This comedy is the directorial debut for Kay Cannon (writer Pitch Perfect 2, screenplay Pitch Perfect, actress How to Be Single). She does a good job and this is a well-made comedy. The story does an okay job of blending comedy with a heartfelt story of the relationship between parents and children. There are definitely parts that had the audience roaring in laughter. The jokes at time were a little juvenile and for shock value alone, but other times were very witty. There is also a decent amount of cheesiness in this film that didn’t necessarily fit all of the time. With a rooster in front of the title you have to assume there are going to be some raunchy moments. Over all the performances were good. John Cena has some very funny moments but also some pretty campy lines. I did feel his character had the same moment several times though. They had him cry multiple times throughout the film and by the end the big tough guy crying grew old for me. Ira Barinholtz has some fun moments also.
Sometimes the best moments in a comedy are spoiled in the trailers and for me they did a good job of putting enough of the high points in the trailer will out ruining the punchline. I found myself enjoying the buildup to the payoff more than the big finish. I thought that seeing this film in a theater also helped as many of the laughs more contagious audience laughter than punchlines. Overall I left the theater enjoying the film and thinking it was better than expected.
This comedy is the directorial debut for Kay Cannon (writer Pitch Perfect 2, screenplay Pitch Perfect, actress How to Be Single). She does a good job and this is a well-made comedy. The story does an okay job of blending comedy with a heartfelt story of the relationship between parents and children. There are definitely parts that had the audience roaring in laughter. The jokes at time were a little juvenile and for shock value alone, but other times were very witty. There is also a decent amount of cheesiness in this film that didn’t necessarily fit all of the time. With a rooster in front of the title you have to assume there are going to be some raunchy moments. Over all the performances were good. John Cena has some very funny moments but also some pretty campy lines. I did feel his character had the same moment several times though. They had him cry multiple times throughout the film and by the end the big tough guy crying grew old for me. Ira Barinholtz has some fun moments also.
Sometimes the best moments in a comedy are spoiled in the trailers and for me they did a good job of putting enough of the high points in the trailer will out ruining the punchline. I found myself enjoying the buildup to the payoff more than the big finish. I thought that seeing this film in a theater also helped as many of the laughs more contagious audience laughter than punchlines. Overall I left the theater enjoying the film and thinking it was better than expected.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Underworld: Blood Wars (2017) in Movies
Jul 12, 2019
The latest installment of the Underworld franchise will not make you happy, but it may entertain you.
Let my preamble consist of this important note: I am a huge fan of the property. With that in mind, we’ll continue.
Kate Beckinsale is back in her black, skin-tight vinyl to deal death and continue the war that’s raged for 1500 years. While a few characters from previous movies show up in this film, most roles are taken by fresh faces. Scenes from the old movies as inserted under the guise of memories narrated by Selene, as well as the jumpy blood memories.
With so many films preceding this one, the creators were kind enough to run us through the major events that set up the current plot. However, as happens with most sequels, I cursed myself for not remembering to watch the previous film beforehand. I recommend doing so; it had been so long I’d forgotten connections and details.
The story of the war continues. The current crisis is coming to a head with a powerful Lycan named Marius in command of the pack. They are intent upon winning the war, once and for all, with a concentrated assault.
Both sides seek avenues to make their species more powerful, and in this case, it’s Selene’s daughter.
The action sequences are shot in the same choppy style as in previous films, but are somehow not captured as beautifully as before.
The plot proceeds at a breakneck pace, often too fast for its own good. Whether it’s due to poor writing, poor direction, or some combination of both, the short scenes feel forced. They exist purely as plot points and do little to attach the audience to the characters. Though the film was marketed as “the final showdown,” it lacks the same epic feeling of the previous one. It’s clear they are trying to milk this franchise for all it’s worth. The payout we all desperately want — a conclusive ending — just won’t come.
The crowning failure comes at a pivotal point when two characters are screaming at each other while pushing bullets out of their skin. It made me feel like I was watching a campy, low-budget action flick. It was so bad that my movie buddy and I started laughing out loud.
We are both huge fans of the property, but were greatly disappointed by poor movie-making and the lack of closure to the story. They probably won’t be given another chance to finish it.
Despite all of this, the acting is actually pretty good. And let’s be honest here: if you are a fan of this franchise, you’re going to go watch it no matter what I say. That’s fine, but don’t go in with high expectations. You can extract some entertainment, but this is just not a good film.
Let my preamble consist of this important note: I am a huge fan of the property. With that in mind, we’ll continue.
Kate Beckinsale is back in her black, skin-tight vinyl to deal death and continue the war that’s raged for 1500 years. While a few characters from previous movies show up in this film, most roles are taken by fresh faces. Scenes from the old movies as inserted under the guise of memories narrated by Selene, as well as the jumpy blood memories.
With so many films preceding this one, the creators were kind enough to run us through the major events that set up the current plot. However, as happens with most sequels, I cursed myself for not remembering to watch the previous film beforehand. I recommend doing so; it had been so long I’d forgotten connections and details.
The story of the war continues. The current crisis is coming to a head with a powerful Lycan named Marius in command of the pack. They are intent upon winning the war, once and for all, with a concentrated assault.
Both sides seek avenues to make their species more powerful, and in this case, it’s Selene’s daughter.
The action sequences are shot in the same choppy style as in previous films, but are somehow not captured as beautifully as before.
The plot proceeds at a breakneck pace, often too fast for its own good. Whether it’s due to poor writing, poor direction, or some combination of both, the short scenes feel forced. They exist purely as plot points and do little to attach the audience to the characters. Though the film was marketed as “the final showdown,” it lacks the same epic feeling of the previous one. It’s clear they are trying to milk this franchise for all it’s worth. The payout we all desperately want — a conclusive ending — just won’t come.
The crowning failure comes at a pivotal point when two characters are screaming at each other while pushing bullets out of their skin. It made me feel like I was watching a campy, low-budget action flick. It was so bad that my movie buddy and I started laughing out loud.
We are both huge fans of the property, but were greatly disappointed by poor movie-making and the lack of closure to the story. They probably won’t be given another chance to finish it.
Despite all of this, the acting is actually pretty good. And let’s be honest here: if you are a fan of this franchise, you’re going to go watch it no matter what I say. That’s fine, but don’t go in with high expectations. You can extract some entertainment, but this is just not a good film.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Seventh Son (2015) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
After a two-year delay, Seventh Son has finally reached the big screen, and it will leave you conflicted.
Seventh Son is brought to us by director Sergey Bodrov. Originally set for a February 2013 release, the film had complicated distribution arrangements between Legendary and Warner Brothers, which kept causing delays.
Jeff Bridges plays one of the title characters: Master John Gregory. He is the last of an order of peacekeeper knights, which once used to be a thousand strong. All of these knights are seventh sons of seventh sons, and are self-tasked with keeping the evil creatures of the world at bay.
The movie starts off with a young Gregory completing a prison cell for an unknown woman. Years later, the prisoner, a draconic beast, breaks out and attacks a nearby town, specifically targeting the aged Knight and his apprentice (Kit Harington — Jon Snow from Game of Thrones). This recently released evil is Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), the queen of witches.
During the battle, Harington’s brief existence in this film is brought to an end, causing Gregory to seek out another apprentice. This search leads him to young Thomas Ward (Ben Barnes). After Ward goes through some sad goodbyes with his family, he and Gregory set out to take down the Witch Queen before the blood moon sets.
His training would normally take 10 years, but they only have a week.
Put simply, this movie was very fragmented. It isn’t a good movie, but it isn’t a bad one either. It has reasonable special effects and decent fight scenes.
There is plenty of star power: Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Kit Harington, Djimon Hounsou (one of my favorites), and Jason Scott Lee.
Jeff Bridges missed the mark on his character. It’s one thing to be disgruntled and war-torn with a curious sense of humor, but it’s something quite different to be outright silly.
There were no explanations. How did the order come about? Why seventh sons of seventh sons? How did Gregory KNOW there was a seventh son at that house? How did the war start? Why is Gregory the last? Why wasn’t there more about Gregory’s relationship with Malkin? Why did the skeleton in the armor attack Tom? Why do the swords hum? Where did the stone come from? Why was it powerful? Why anything, really? The story has no depth, failing to explain the “why” of any of its lore. There were only statements of fact, which confuses viewers and prevents them from becoming emotionally anchored to the story.
I simply didn’t care about the characters. The film was disorganized and rushed. Perhaps it would have been better served as two films, or a longer film, or even a mini series.
Seventh Son had the potential to be so much more. A combination of poor writing and bad direction made the movie lackluster to me and all three of my companions.
The actors delivered many campy one-liners, and the chuckles they drew from the crowd were quite unintentional.
If you are a fan of high fantasy, it’s probably worth seeing, but wait for it to arrive on Netflix and use it as background entertainment
Seventh Son is brought to us by director Sergey Bodrov. Originally set for a February 2013 release, the film had complicated distribution arrangements between Legendary and Warner Brothers, which kept causing delays.
Jeff Bridges plays one of the title characters: Master John Gregory. He is the last of an order of peacekeeper knights, which once used to be a thousand strong. All of these knights are seventh sons of seventh sons, and are self-tasked with keeping the evil creatures of the world at bay.
The movie starts off with a young Gregory completing a prison cell for an unknown woman. Years later, the prisoner, a draconic beast, breaks out and attacks a nearby town, specifically targeting the aged Knight and his apprentice (Kit Harington — Jon Snow from Game of Thrones). This recently released evil is Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), the queen of witches.
During the battle, Harington’s brief existence in this film is brought to an end, causing Gregory to seek out another apprentice. This search leads him to young Thomas Ward (Ben Barnes). After Ward goes through some sad goodbyes with his family, he and Gregory set out to take down the Witch Queen before the blood moon sets.
His training would normally take 10 years, but they only have a week.
Put simply, this movie was very fragmented. It isn’t a good movie, but it isn’t a bad one either. It has reasonable special effects and decent fight scenes.
There is plenty of star power: Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Kit Harington, Djimon Hounsou (one of my favorites), and Jason Scott Lee.
Jeff Bridges missed the mark on his character. It’s one thing to be disgruntled and war-torn with a curious sense of humor, but it’s something quite different to be outright silly.
There were no explanations. How did the order come about? Why seventh sons of seventh sons? How did Gregory KNOW there was a seventh son at that house? How did the war start? Why is Gregory the last? Why wasn’t there more about Gregory’s relationship with Malkin? Why did the skeleton in the armor attack Tom? Why do the swords hum? Where did the stone come from? Why was it powerful? Why anything, really? The story has no depth, failing to explain the “why” of any of its lore. There were only statements of fact, which confuses viewers and prevents them from becoming emotionally anchored to the story.
I simply didn’t care about the characters. The film was disorganized and rushed. Perhaps it would have been better served as two films, or a longer film, or even a mini series.
Seventh Son had the potential to be so much more. A combination of poor writing and bad direction made the movie lackluster to me and all three of my companions.
The actors delivered many campy one-liners, and the chuckles they drew from the crowd were quite unintentional.
If you are a fan of high fantasy, it’s probably worth seeing, but wait for it to arrive on Netflix and use it as background entertainment
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Total Recall (2012) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
Remaking classic films is always risky business. Mainly because there is a specific reason those movies are so well received – because they are the best of their time. Remakes are inherently risky because the filmmakers have a bar they have to at least reach, and they absolutely cannot tread the exact same ground as the original. They have to do something new, modern, or innovate. Or, at least they are expected to. When remakes work, they soar. When they don’t… Well, that’s another story. Paul Verhoeven’s “Total Recall” (1990) was an excellent science fiction monolith of its time. It stood out as a heartfelt science fiction story, one that was exceptionally aware of its own identity, design, and overall setting. It reflected the vary soul of its time – intentionally representational of culture at the time (late 80s and early 90s). If Len Wiseman’s remake, “Total Recall” (2012) is supposed to be a representation of contemporary culture in the same way as the original, then I fear our popular culture is too shallow for high minded science fiction. While not a bad movie – in fact, it is actually quite entertaining overall – it just does not feature the same soul and passion of the original film.
The premise follows the original in only a rough sense. Sometime in the future, the world has been left mostly uninhabitable due to a deadly chemical war across the globe. Humanity has been left to residing in the only remaining habitable landmasses – Western Europe and “The Colony”, the latter being modern-day Australia. Because air travel is now impossible, the only travel between the landmasses is through a massive elevator called “The Fall” that cuts through the center of the Earth. Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) is a factory worker who works in Europe but lives in “The Colony” with his wife, Lori (Kate Beckinstale). His chronic nightmares lead him to become interested in the “Rekall” service – a machine that can implant memories into customers. His interest will lead him on a wild journey with Melina (Jessica Biel) to learn about his true self as well as secrets of Cohaagen’s (Bryan Cranston) tyrannical administration.
The problems of the film really start with the premise. While I enjoy the creativity of something like “The Fall”, it is simply too ridiculous to take seriously. They deserve credit for coming up with a relatively unknown science fiction concept, but an elevator that travels through the center of the Earth? Peoples’ suspension of disbelief can only be pushed so far. It serves a practical purpose in the plot – to create the conflict between “The Colony” and the mainland and between the government and the Resistance. Yet, too much time is spent trying to introduce this concept and make it seem plausible than the film should. It honestly seems easier to just use the original film’s conflict between settings – Mars and Earth. I have to ask, what makes an elevator between two lands more contemporary of an idea than a conflict between colonial Mars and Earth. This is especially true considering recent news that a Mars colony might be seen in our lifetimes.
The other problems are more literary. Colin Farrell’s Douglas Quaid is portrayed very well throughout the film, and he manages to make the character satisfactory in the emotional portrayal of a man with a confused past and an insane situation. But even then, I have to say Arnold’s original portrayal seemed overall more human. The problem with Colin Farrell’s character is a mixture of performance and writing in his introduction. It is hard to believe him as someone so distraught over his nightmares that he absolutely feels compelled to go to Rekall. If they spent more time exploring his inner demons and how they are bringing his life down, then he would have been a much more compelling character. As it stands, he just goes through the motions of a protagonist. All of the other characters are the same way. Kate Beckinstale’s villainous Lori and Jessica Biel’s Melina are fairly shallow characters. They are not bad at their roles but that is all they, unfortunately, are: roles. Like Quaid, they just go through the motions, playing their part as clichéd character archetypes. Bryan Cranston is always awesome in any role, but in this he is not given much to work with. All he ends up being is just an evil tyrant with a megalomaniacal plot – with very little reason or background.
Those issues said, there are many things that do work. The pacing is good throughout, with no moments feeling awkward. The art design is exceptional, and there are no moments in the film that are boring to look at. To its credit, almost every scene is full of beautiful science-fiction design. The only complaint in this area is that some of the action scenes feel very cluttered due to the overall noise of The Colony’s design. The plot moves forward steadily, and it is overall simple to understand. That said, it is not without its own faults. The plot starts out great but becomes full of usual secret agent thriller clichés. Also, the plot becomes very campy, not to mention unbelievable, in its third act. The third act is also where there are the most plot holes – notable plot holes at that.
If you can shut your brain off for a couple hours, you can enjoy “Total Recall”. The film is pretty to look at and is absolutely packed with action sequences. All of the action sequences are well shot, well paced, and entertaining. The actors all do great with what they are given; but the problem is that they are not given much. They are all fairly flat characters, but are all satisfactory for the service of the plot – a plot that is well paced and understandable, but one that becomes campy, ridiculous, and peppered with notable plot holes. It is not as tightly written and directed to be a great secret agent thriller, and not as inspired to be a great science fiction story. The original was exceptional in its setting construction – pulling the audience into the amazingly designed Paul Verhoeven world. It was full of comedy and thrills, thought and design. As it stands, the moments that could really go far in establishing a passionate soul-filled, inspired world are instead spent on making quick references to those vary moments from the original. It could have established its own voice, its own heart and soul, but it just settles on being your clichéd average science fiction blockbuster.
The premise follows the original in only a rough sense. Sometime in the future, the world has been left mostly uninhabitable due to a deadly chemical war across the globe. Humanity has been left to residing in the only remaining habitable landmasses – Western Europe and “The Colony”, the latter being modern-day Australia. Because air travel is now impossible, the only travel between the landmasses is through a massive elevator called “The Fall” that cuts through the center of the Earth. Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) is a factory worker who works in Europe but lives in “The Colony” with his wife, Lori (Kate Beckinstale). His chronic nightmares lead him to become interested in the “Rekall” service – a machine that can implant memories into customers. His interest will lead him on a wild journey with Melina (Jessica Biel) to learn about his true self as well as secrets of Cohaagen’s (Bryan Cranston) tyrannical administration.
The problems of the film really start with the premise. While I enjoy the creativity of something like “The Fall”, it is simply too ridiculous to take seriously. They deserve credit for coming up with a relatively unknown science fiction concept, but an elevator that travels through the center of the Earth? Peoples’ suspension of disbelief can only be pushed so far. It serves a practical purpose in the plot – to create the conflict between “The Colony” and the mainland and between the government and the Resistance. Yet, too much time is spent trying to introduce this concept and make it seem plausible than the film should. It honestly seems easier to just use the original film’s conflict between settings – Mars and Earth. I have to ask, what makes an elevator between two lands more contemporary of an idea than a conflict between colonial Mars and Earth. This is especially true considering recent news that a Mars colony might be seen in our lifetimes.
The other problems are more literary. Colin Farrell’s Douglas Quaid is portrayed very well throughout the film, and he manages to make the character satisfactory in the emotional portrayal of a man with a confused past and an insane situation. But even then, I have to say Arnold’s original portrayal seemed overall more human. The problem with Colin Farrell’s character is a mixture of performance and writing in his introduction. It is hard to believe him as someone so distraught over his nightmares that he absolutely feels compelled to go to Rekall. If they spent more time exploring his inner demons and how they are bringing his life down, then he would have been a much more compelling character. As it stands, he just goes through the motions of a protagonist. All of the other characters are the same way. Kate Beckinstale’s villainous Lori and Jessica Biel’s Melina are fairly shallow characters. They are not bad at their roles but that is all they, unfortunately, are: roles. Like Quaid, they just go through the motions, playing their part as clichéd character archetypes. Bryan Cranston is always awesome in any role, but in this he is not given much to work with. All he ends up being is just an evil tyrant with a megalomaniacal plot – with very little reason or background.
Those issues said, there are many things that do work. The pacing is good throughout, with no moments feeling awkward. The art design is exceptional, and there are no moments in the film that are boring to look at. To its credit, almost every scene is full of beautiful science-fiction design. The only complaint in this area is that some of the action scenes feel very cluttered due to the overall noise of The Colony’s design. The plot moves forward steadily, and it is overall simple to understand. That said, it is not without its own faults. The plot starts out great but becomes full of usual secret agent thriller clichés. Also, the plot becomes very campy, not to mention unbelievable, in its third act. The third act is also where there are the most plot holes – notable plot holes at that.
If you can shut your brain off for a couple hours, you can enjoy “Total Recall”. The film is pretty to look at and is absolutely packed with action sequences. All of the action sequences are well shot, well paced, and entertaining. The actors all do great with what they are given; but the problem is that they are not given much. They are all fairly flat characters, but are all satisfactory for the service of the plot – a plot that is well paced and understandable, but one that becomes campy, ridiculous, and peppered with notable plot holes. It is not as tightly written and directed to be a great secret agent thriller, and not as inspired to be a great science fiction story. The original was exceptional in its setting construction – pulling the audience into the amazingly designed Paul Verhoeven world. It was full of comedy and thrills, thought and design. As it stands, the moments that could really go far in establishing a passionate soul-filled, inspired world are instead spent on making quick references to those vary moments from the original. It could have established its own voice, its own heart and soul, but it just settles on being your clichéd average science fiction blockbuster.