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MelanieTheresa (760 KP) rated a video of A Perfect Getaway (2009) in Movies

Nov 8, 2019 (Updated Nov 9, 2019)

I adore this movie and will watch it any time I happen to come across it. The Hawaiian setting is absolutely gorgeous, and the cast is terrific. Timothy Olyphant (who I will watch in anything), Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, Kiele Sanchez (AMAZING here). Excellent performances from Chris Hemsworth and Marley Shelton as well ("You should have given us a ride, man.")

A great thriller with a fun, twisty plot. I definitely didn't figure out who the killers were in my first viewing. Subsequent viewings are even more fun once you know the ending, as you can pick out things you may have missed the first time around.

Awix (1652 KP) rated The Three Musketeers (2011) in Movies

Feb 11, 2018 (Updated Feb 11, 2018)  
The Three Musketeers (2011)
The Three Musketeers (2011)
2011 | Action, Romance
4.7 (3 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Dumb and Dumas
Paul W.S. Anderson, the man behind the Resident Evil and Alien Vs Predator franchises, shows us what real creativity looks like as he gives us his take on a piece of classic literature, adding all those crucial things that Alexandre Dumas inexplicably forgot to include in the original version of The Three Musketeers: aqualungs, flamethrowers, airship battles, Orlando Bloom in a pompadour hairstyle, and Milla Jovovich doing somersaults in a basque.

Pretty much wholly ghastly from start to finish, almost to the point where banning Anderson from reading books seems like a reasonable precaution, just to be on the safe side. About as thrilling as watching your laptop install an update, with all the comic charm of an outbreak of venereal disease. The special effects are technically competent but that really is the best you can say about it.
The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999)
The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999)
1999 | Drama, History, War
Sprawling, episodic historical drama which brought the Hollywood career of Luc Besson to a firm stop. 15th century France is invaded by the English, but leading the resistance is a teenage girl who believes she can hear the voice of God. She may be able to defeat the invaders, but can she survive the snake pit of court and church politics?

So: Joan of Arc, an iconic, legendary, complex figure, is brought to the screen by Milla Jovovich, whose performance mostly consists of her rolling her eyes a lot and squeaking. No matter how distinguished the rest of the cast, or how well staged the various massed battle scenes, this is a problem which any film would struggle to overcome. Some other odd creative choices don't help much (Dustin Hoffman turns up as the embodiment of Joan's self-doubt). Still, there is a genuine sense of the medieval grotesque, and Besson is very much in his comfort zone during the battles. Certainly a brave and imaginative take on history, but the end result is too close to Monty Python and the Holy Grail for comfort.
The Fourth Kind (2009)
The Fourth Kind (2009)
2009 | Mystery
5.0 (2 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Based on true events, “The Fourth Kind” is a thriller/semi-documentary covering the seemingly unexplained true events that occurred to psychologist Abigail Turner, portrayed in the film by Milla Jovovich. “The Fourth Kind” presents Abby’s story merging dramatic renditions with actual video and audio footage of the strange occurrences.

It is a creepy film filled with close up shots of spooky owls and the hauntingly foggy skies of Nome, Alaska. All this imagery creates a mystical scene but it left me wondering whether is it the films content or an extremely good knowledge of camera angles that created the lingering possibility of truth?

Furthering my dislike of the film are the unnecessary plot deviations, such as the start and conclusion by Jovovich, and the slow and disjointed family sequences which make the characters hard to relate to. Moreover, it seems as if much of the film’s content could be removed and possibly presented as a stronger case for an encounter of the fourth kind as short film or even television episode.

But the most glaring objection to the film’s premise is that it is built on a very small amount of evidence. Sure, the evidence that is presented is disturbing but the limited actual video and audio clips utilized make the film feel gimmicky. Dr. Turner’s story is intriguing but it does not support a satisfying a full-length film, especially for audiences hoping to see something that will force them to reexamine their stance on alien life forms.

In the end what you probably want to know is if this movie significantly change my views on the possibility of alien life forms or if it scared me to my core. The simple answer is no, but it did make me less enthusiastic about visiting to Nome, Alaska.
A Perfect Getaway (2009)
A Perfect Getaway (2009)
2009 | Mystery, Thriller
If “Survivorman” hadn’t given me enough reason to never spend time on a remote beach, “A Perfect Getaway” has sealed my resolve. Cliff (Steve Zahn) and Cidney (Milla Jovovich) are newlyweds honeymooning on a remote Hawaiian Island when rumors of a murderous couple begin to circulate. Cliff and Cidney soon find themselves in a triangle of couples, any of which could be the killers.

The film is more akin to a blending of “The Rundown” and “Idle Hands”, than the non-stop creep fest I had expected. Avoiding the exhausted remote Hawaiian island murder movie clichés, “A Perfect Getaway” contains a funny attention-grabbing game of who-done it complete with movie terms worked directly into the plot.

This is a film all about well-crafted characters. All the leads are fun to watch and everyone is bound to have a favorite; from the self proclaimed ‘American Jedi’ Nick (Timothy Olyphant) to the bubbly newlywed Cindy. For me it was the standout performance of Kiele Sanchez as Gina that was the most dramatic and suspenseful.

While I was hesitant to see a film about another a remote island in Hawaii covered in killers, “A Perfect Getaway” blasts past my sense of been there-done-that. The general feel of a mystery novel scattered through the lead characters creates a funny film reminiscent of my R. L. Stine years.

The location is beautiful and haunting, as is to be expected, and the camera is used in a way that truly puts viewers in the film’s action. While “A Perfect Getaway” does drag a little in the beginning staying into the real meat of the film is worth the wait. Additionally viewers will wonder why the film’s characters continue to spend time on an island reported to house a set of murders, but if you can discard these obvious mistakes “A Perfect Getaway” is a refreshing trip.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
2004 | Horror
7.1 (16 Ratings)
Movie Rating
2004 has been the year of the Zombie film. from the remake of “Dawn of the Dead”, to the upcoming “Shaun of the Dead”, the walking dead have been big business at the box office. In the new film “Resident Evil Apocalypse”, the Zombie genre takes a few new twists with the inclusion of the evil corporation and science going horribly wrong.

Picking up where the last film ended, the underground compound of the Umbrella Corporation has been destroyed by a virus that was unleashed in an accident causing the dead to reanimate and go on a rampage of carnage and destruction.

Alice (Milla Jovovich), was one of two survivors of the first film and finds herself waking in an empty lab with her last memories of her and the other survivor being removed from her and detained by agents of the corporation. Making her way to the surface, Alice discovers that Racoon City has been evacuated and barricaded by the company trapping some survivors inside the ravaged city.

At the same time, a group of survivors has taken up refuge in a church, they are headed by police officer Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory), who is watching over a fellow officer who has been bitten by a zombie and a reporter who sees the tragic events as the key to her career success. Alice soon meets up with the group and they battle the strange manner of creatures who surround them as they attempt to make their way out of the city.

A combat team headed by Carlos Olivera (Oded Fehr), is also trapped in the city and they soon meet up with Alice and the other survivors. It is learned that Alice has been enhanced by the company and her amazing strength and agility are by design of the company. It is also discovered that an unstoppable creature known as Nemesis is on the lose and is destroying everything it encounters. As if this is not enough to worry about, Alice reveals that at dawn the company will destroy the infected city with a nuclear device and blame it on a faulty reactor. Faced with legions of the walking dead, Nemesis, and the coming nuclear blast, the survivors are in a severe situation. A way out arrives when a scientist informs the group that if they recover his daughter from a nearby school, he will direct them to a helicopter and out of the doomed city. What follows is a race against time as the team must battle the odds to survive.

Although slow and predictable to start, the film does gain speed and the last 20 minutes of the film are very entertaining and set the stage well for a potential third chapter in the series. The FX in the film is interesting if not ground breaking and the action is well staged and interesting. The action is not bad though nothing spectacular though Jovovich gives a very energetic performance. The film does have a few chills in it as people at my press screener people in the audience jumped on more than one occasion. The script by Paul Anderson is better then the first film in the series though Anderson chose to direct “Alien VS Predator” instead of this film, and despite its early missteps it is an improvement upon the original film and should delight fans as it is a worthy new step in the series.
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Trivia question for you…what does an immortal evil queen, King Arthur, Nazis and a boy born from Hell itself have in common? If you answered Hellboy you win a prize. The prize is going to the theater and watching the film and whether it’s a prize worth winning is something you’ll have to decide for yourself. I’m getting a bit ahead of myself though, so let’s rewind a bit and start at the beginning.

Hellboy (David Harbour) is a demon from Hell (hence the name), his backstory as we learn early on in the movie is pretty standard fare. The Nazi’s are on the verge of losing World War II and in a desperate move to turn the tide call upon the evil sorcerer Rasputin to call upon the depths of Hell and raise a champion who will fight for them. The incantation is interrupted when famous Nazi hunter Lobster Johnson (Thomas Haden Church) goes in with guns blazing, as other allied troops join the fray. Their relief at stopping the incantation is short-lived as the alter opens and a young demon climbs through. Professor Broom who had infiltrated the Nazi team had been brought in to put down any evil that was successfully summoned. Upon seeing the young demon, Professor Broom (for reasons known only to him at the time) decides not to kill him, but to take him in and raise him as his own.

Flash forward to present day, and Hellboy as we now know him alongside his father are members of the B.P.R.D (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense). On a mission to defeat some giants that are roaming the countryside in England they stumble upon an ancient evil that dark forces are trying to retrieve. It seems back in the dark ages a war between humans and monsters was being waged. Seeing no end to the violence King Arthur (Mark Stanley) and his faithful wizard Merlin (Brian Gleeson) offer to surrender to The Blood Queen (Milla Jovovich). On top the hill where the surrender is to take place, the Blood Queen is betrayed by one of her own and King Arthur, using the infamous blade Excalibur, cut the Blood Queen into several parts. While she can’t be killed, she can be contained and each of her body parts are placed in separate boxes. These boxes are then sealed with holy water that only a holy man can unlock and are sent to the farthest corners of England. If the Blood Queen ever returns, she will release a plague that will not only destroy England but spread across the entire world. Thus, sets the stage for Hellboy.

Being a fan of the previous movies and in particular the portrayal of Hellboy by Ron Pearlman, I wasn’t sure how to feel about David Harbour in this role. It’s always a bit hit or miss when a series is rebooted, and I was pleasantly surprised with how David Harbour stepped up and into the role. While he doesn’t have the same menacing size and gruffness that Ron Pearlman possesses, it didn’t take me long to adjust to this new version. He is joined by a strong supporting cast consisting of Sasha Lane as his ghost whispering friend Alice and Ben Daimo as an MI-11 agent weary of teaming up with a monster. Milla Jovovich does an outstanding job as the Blood Queen and her fairy-pig friend portrayed by Stephen Graham and Douglas Tait.

Visually the movie is stunning, with the numerous monsters and fairy creatures coming to life before your eyes. The movie is exceptionally gory as one might expect, with numerous limb dismemberments, decapitations, and more blood than anyone would expect to erupt from such wounds. It’s over-the-top and meant to be that way which tended to bring some uncomfortable laughter at times from those around me. Having recently played Mortal Kombat 11, I couldn’t help but feel that some of the fatality screens in that game would have felt right at home in this movie.

Story is where I feel Hellboy falls a bit flat. There are so many characters and side stories going on that it’s easy to get lost in it. From my description above, you can see that it includes King Arthur, Rasputin, Nazis, Secret Societies, Witches that eat children, monsters…and that’s only in the first half of the movie. There is a ton going on and there are a lot of disconnects. While trying to avoid spoilers, there is a part in the film where Hellboy is talking to Baba Yaga (see another character reference), and after tricking her she places a curse on him. I’m still trying to figure out if the curse she placed on him occurred in the movie or not. In fact, I’m trying to figure out exactly what the point of that scene was. It’s not a bad story, but it tries to pack in a TON of references in its brief hour and forty five-ish minutes.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never read any of the Hellboy graphic novels, I have seen both of the previous films, so I had a little bit of background going into this movie. I don’t know if all the references in the movie are pivotal to the novels or not. You certainly don’t have to have read them or seen the previous movies to appreciate this one, I just wonder if they tried to fit in too many Hellboy references into one film. Hellboy is an enjoyable ride, and it certainly doesn’t drag at all, in fact I was surprised at how quickly it was over. With all that being said, it’s a fun action-packed movie, with lots of gratuitous violence if that’s your thing. I certainly wouldn’t recommend taking your children to see it, violence aside, I just think there is way too much going on and it can be difficult to follow. Oh, and don’t forget to stay through the credits for the end credit scene. It’s not pivotal to the movie, but worth waiting around for.
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
This sort of soft reboot of Hellboy is a truly mixed bag. It's just about watchable, and there are some things I liked, and a whole heap of things I didn't like.

Let's start with the negatives - the absolute biggest problems with Hellboy is the editing and pacing.
The quick cuts and bizzarre transitions that happen often are incredibly jarring, and stops the narrative running smoothly for much of the duration.
It almost feels as if the film has been designed for someone who gets bored easily, and will shoehorn in a new scene before giving you the chance to take in the previous one.
It also plays havoc with a lot of the already mediocre (and sometimes cringe-worthy) script - a good example of this comes right at the beginning, as Hellboy is introduced us, searching for an MIA fellow agent.... Its here that Ian McShane's character explains to Hellboy over the phone, what this agent was doing when he went missing, only for Hellboy to himself repeat it to another character seconds later - it's weird and feels lazy.
Another issue is something I seem to complain about a lot recently - CGI. A lot of the CGI throughout is not great, and it's again, a complete mixed bag. Some of the practical effects look fine. The big demons glimpsed in the trailer look fine. And then everywhere else it just shits the bed, most glaringly when it comes to Ben Daimio, a character from the comics who should be an exciting inclusion, but is dragged down buy just how awful it looks.
Another thing I also disliked was the insistence of having 'cool' rock songs playing every two minutes, especially in fight scenes that would otherwise have been entertaining. At times, it felt like I was watching Suicide Squad all over again, which is never a good thing.
A lot of the acting throughout Hellboy is also stale and unenthused. Milla Jovovich is particularly uninspiring as The Blood Queen (a villain from the comics that never enthralled me in the first place), Daniel Dae Kim (Ben Daimio) and Sasha Lane (Alice Monaghan) just seem embarrassed to be involved at all.

This does bring me on to the things a liked about Hellboy though - David Harbour won me over pretty quickly as the titular half demon, he provides the movies sparse humour, and the make up work is great - he does his absolute best to hold it all together.
Ian McShane is good also, but come on, it's Ian McShane man.
Even if they aren't represented perfectly, I still liked seeing a lot of characters from the comic book, and my love for Lobster Johnson is strong.
The monster designs are pretty great for the most part, Baba Yaga looks skin crawling, and as I said, the big demons seen in the trailers are pretty horrifying.
The violence and gore is unfortunately, mostly CGI, but is pretty effective for the most part, even if it does feel like the movie is sometimes packing in an R rating to disguise the averageness of everything else.
As mentioned above, some of the action pieces are pretty fun, but I must say, the climax of the movie is pretty underwhelming.

I didn't find Hellboy as horrible as some people made it out to be - it's certainly not as good as the original two films (although I find the first one to be quite average as it is!) but it still has some credibility, even if it's a small amount.
Unfortunately, for every step Hellboy takes forward, it's takes two back, resulting in a messy and muddled film that struggles to find an identity, and it's reeks of studio meddling.

Still though, Big Mo Harris shooting an Uzi is always a pleasure 👍
Pandorica (2016)
Pandorica (2016)
2016 |
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Now that Chris and I have handed back the reigns of Another Damn Wrestling Show to its original hosts Matt, Joe and the other one. I no longer have to watch 12 hours of Wrestling each week so I decided to tackle my backlog of Movie reviews that some awesome very kind people have been sending. Today was the turn of Pandorica, a movie that to be fair had me at the trailer because its tells you everything without giving anything away. Best type of Trailer really (Yes that was a pop at Terminator Genisys).

I had no real expectations going into Pandorica and I came out of it very pleasantly surprised by Tom Paton’s Genre busting Futuristic Dystopian , Sci-Fi horror, Suspense, Action Filled tale of what happens when Humanity is De-Volved into its most basic instincts. Well I did say Genre Busting. One of the best things about this movie is that you really cant put it in any bracket (no matter how hard you try for the purpose of reviewing).

 Set somewhere in the future we meet a small group of Natives from the Varosha tribe. Tribe leader Nus (Luke D’Silva) has brought his three bravest and best to take part in a Violent trial to determine who should be leader of the Tribe when Nus expires. As is always the way, the three in question have very differing personalities. Eiren (Jade Hobday) is as deadly as she is determined and somewhat sexy (think Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil, Keira Knightley in King Arthur, Rhona Mitra in Doomsday). She is up against the wreckless headstrong bad ass Ares (Marc Zammit) who believes he is the only man fit enough to lead, rounding off the trio is Thade (Adam Bond) a very loyal confidant to the tribe but its all a bit over his head. Once the trial begins everything really turns to shit as the 3 discover a strange woman being chased by band of Vicious Lunatics in creepy masks. They must band to together to stay alive, all the while trying to prove they are the best candidate for leader, Winner is left standing at daybreak… Hopefully.

It is hard for me to believe that this is Tom Paton’s first full length feature film. He has a very clear idea of what he is doing with getting the best out of his strong leading cast, the Cinematography in this movie is gorgeous at times showing Paton is well aware of his on location surroundings and can direct his movie as such to show us this. Sometimes just the swooping shots over the top of the trees keep make you pause to admire. He has taken a number of Genres mashed them up and made a solid as hell flick that not only stands on its own but also serves as what could potentially be a great intro to a new series of flicks hat breath new life into some of these Genres, especially the Dystopian World End-y ones in the same vein as Neil Marshalls Doomsday.

I don’t want to keep raving on too much because you guys should really see this flick. It is available on all good streaming sites and video on demand services and I guarantee you will get a kick out of it, even if only for the Bitchin as hell soundtrack. I wont lie the music alone sucks you right in. I really enjoyed the movie and can easily see a sequel in fact if you do enjoy the movie, I recommend you stick around till the end of the credits (No Spoilers).

Daniel Boyd (967 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies

Apr 17, 2019 (Updated Apr 17, 2019)  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
The script (4 more)
The editing
The performances
Everything else
Actual Hell
If the Hellboy 2019 movie has one thing going for it, it's that it's impressive. It is impressive in the sense that it actually made me question the futility of time and why I was wasting my short time on this earth watching this atrocious piece of trash. There were several times when I was watching the film that I actually couldn't bring myself to believe how bad what I was witnessing onscreen really was. This might be the worst film I have ever seen.

It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.

Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.

The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.

Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.

I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.

The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.

Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.