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Haunted (2013)
Haunted (2013)
2013 |
1
1.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
About As Scary As A Trip To Seaworld
Contains spoilers, click to show
Haunted, a film Directed by Steven M Smith is an unusual addition to anyone's 'film' collection, as instantly you question whether this is even a film to begin with, the content is very documentary based, opening with factual accounts and a history of an abandoned railway museum. All of the opening shots are filmed in documentary format and this continues throughout the film even when found footage elements are introduced.

A TV crew will film a paranormal investigation and obtain evidence that proves we are not alone. Something Evil awaits them! They will all discover the truth, that we are not alone.

The above quote is taken directly from the synopsis on the website, contestants are invited to visit a haunted railway as part of the show of which they are filming, they are all packed into a limousine and taken to the event. The whole scenes within the limo following the group around SHOULD of been filmed by a professional camera and a professional cinematographer but it looks as thou the entire film has been shot on someone's mobile phone.

Budget constraints aside, decent camera's should of been used to document the entire film from introduction to the actual paranormal investigations, rather than Sony handycam's that cost £120. The only time still camera's are used is to document an almost news style report at the start of the film and a few segments in between. Using handycams this instantly brings us into frustrating territory of moving shaky pictures, blurred images, and camera operators with shaky hands. Very poor quality recording even for a documentary style shooting as you're watching a black screen for the duration, has anyone ever heard of night vision? Next the acting, now the contestants themselves are not in on the game, they are not aware of what's going on or what they have signed up too, however Jon our 'medium' gives the game away at every opportunity. The strategically placed actor in the movie is Jon Paul Gates a supposed 'medium' who describes what he is feeling and how strong a presence is in a particular area. I personally would of caught on very easily to this poor display as not only was the acting questionable, but his descriptions of certain ghosts and characters were so detailed that it was obvious they had been memorised from a script or prior knowledge. There is one scene where the ghost is apparently on top of Jon as he is weighed to the ground, I found this scene hysterical, I was literally crying with laughter of how poor he not only acted it out but how a ghost was piggy backing a ride around the railway yard.

For the first 30 minutes of the movie, the group have arrived, walked around some railway tracks and picked up some weird force that only Jon can feel yet no one around the group has even felt or experienced anything out of this world. Now Most Haunted the popular paranormal TV show would of thrust the audience into some action by now but for the opening 30 minutes of Haunted, nothing of the sort has happened, as it stands the documentary as I refuse to call it a film has displayed more history about the railways than anything remotely paranormal. Maybe a title change would be for the best? I am neither scared, nor intrigued at this moment in time, quite frankly I'm hoping this heats up and soon.

I feel as thou if this film was cut shorter, much shorter, with a voice over documentary style about where each group is going and what they are doing it would be much more easier to watch. Cut the best bits in, jump scares, certain happenings, instead of mundane walking around a railway yard, because as it stands I could grab a camera, head off out tonight and shoot an identical piece of footage, its neither scary nor intriguing. It needs to have production value and Haunted is really suffering from a lack of it as a result.

There is one event throughout the whole movie which is the main talking point and then the film has the audacity to kill people off towards the end after a whole run time of nothingness, no build up, no real meaning or reason why. It was basically like watching the worst episode of Most Haunted to find one of your group dead on the floor at the end of it, planned, boring and drawn out far too long.

Shorten the run time, have a voice over, documentary coverage and film, DON'T kill anyone off at the end with some cheesy fake characters who no one now believes and have a genuine vigil, no pranks or set ups and this could of been a cool little paranormal programme.

Sadly none of the above happened. What a shame. A few sequels are in the works, shorten the duration, fix the countless problems and maybe, just maybe show some true paranormal / experiences and I guarantee it will be more of a success !
  
Our Little Racket: A Novel
Our Little Racket: A Novel
Angelica Baker | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
The idyllic community of Greenwich, Connecticut is shaken when the investment bank, Weiss & Partners, fails. Its CEO, Bob D'Amico--a man known throughout the banking community for his loyalty to his employees--is at the center of the storm: did Bob know this was coming? And even worse, did things fall apart due to criminal actions on his part? Meanwhile, Bob's teenage daughter, Madison, struggles to understand what this all means, both for her father and her family. She gets little help from her mother, Isabel, who offers Madison no comfort during this crazy time. Madison's nanny, Lily, is busy caring for her younger twin brothers. Isabel's best friend, Mina, wants to help, but is still too afraid of offending Isabel: a pillar of the Greenwich scene. And Madison and her best friend, Amanda, seem to be drifting further apart every day. Madison and her family are under intense scrutiny, yet she's still just a girl trying to navigate being a teen. She's sure her father didn't do anything wrong; right?

I had a tough time with this book. There were several points where I considered setting it down for others in my always growing "to be read" pile, but I soldiered on. <i>I can't say I really enjoyed it, though I did find parts of it interesting.</i> It's clearly influenced by the Madoff scandal, which is referenced in the novel, and there is a lot of financial lingo in the book, even if it's really a story of a troubled family at its core.

The problem is that so few of the characters are really engaging, and the story seems to drag on endlessly at points. It's a peek in the world of the truly wealthy (think household servants, golf courses at their homes, multiple residences, hired cars, etc.), but I found myself unable to care for most of the characters. None of them are very nice to each other, and Bob and Isabel come across as neglectful and awful parents for the majority of the story. Even worse is the gaggle of Greenwich women, who gossip about the situation, feel like they are unable to continue to purchase expensive clothing and wares after Bob's "situation," and generally just annoy you with their harping. They don't understand anything about what their husbands do, but they run their households (well, they delegate it all) and fear that their carefully polished way of life is in jeopardy. You understand that this is a serious event for them, but you don't really care. Was I supposed to feel sorry for them? The novel is confusing at times in this facet. Perhaps I missed a great point somewhere: is it profound or just pretentious? Hard to tell.

The one thing that kept me reading was Madison. While she could be hateful at times, the story of her coming of age in a very strange environment, with a spotlight shining on her, was the most interesting part of the novel. Her dynamic with her father, whom she clearly adored, and her cold, distant mother, was far more fleshed out than any of the other characters. You could see her struggling to find her place in the world: she was just doing it under the watchful eye of the community (and a security detail hired to keep the press away from her family). Baker deftly portrays Madison's heartbreaking forays in romance, as well as some great scenes in which the teen shows off some spunk that will have you rooting for her. I couldn't help but want to give her a hug: even though I could see that her mother was a complicated individual, her parents were pretty awful, and poor Madison was forced to confront that in some terrible ways.

Still, despite Madison's story, most of this book fell flat for me. The epilogue was interesting and tied up some loose ends, but it ended things very abruptly as well. So much of the novel was about how Greenwich was nothing but smoke and mirrors: nothing was real in this world. Yet, I would have enjoyed some characters who felt more human, whom I could relate to in some way, whom I wanted to care for and to see come out of this "crisis" intact. Rating a 3-star due to Madison and the intricate story, but probably more of a 2.5-star on the overall enjoyment level scale for me.

I received a copy of this novel from the publisher and Edelweiss (thank you!) in return for an unbiased review; it is available everywhere as of 06/20/2017.

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The Thing: Infection at Outpost 31
The Thing: Infection at Outpost 31
2017 | Entertainment, Horror
Good game. Could be great with some house rule tweaking.
The Thing: Infected at Outpost 31 is a good game. It really gets the feel of John Carpenter's movie a far as the characters, the props & the look and layout of the outpost. That being said, the game has none of the suspense the movie has. But it can, with some house rules.
The first game I played, we had 6 players. We played the game wrong & had 3 infected. Even though we had too many infected, I was still able to pick all 3 infected. One I torched, 2 I got with the blood tests. Because the humans are able to talk about what cards are given to the captain with each mission, it's too easy to figure out the infected, unless the infected plays the game as a human & totally straight. Because of that, the game is boring as it was too easy for the humans to beat the missions & that it was a guarantee the game would get to the escape portion with no problem. During the game, the danger level didn't get past the third spot, so the danger never affected the missions. Far too easy for the humans. One friend, who was infected, played 2 sabotage cards & we easily figured out he was infected. The other 2 I guessed because of the way they acted. Not the way they acted in the game, just the way they acted. After the game, I suggested that we not be allowed to say what cards you give to the captain. I suggested we say either we can help with the mission or we cannot help. One friend disagreed & said it would be too easy for the infected to win the game by destroying 4 rooms or making 8 missions fail. I disagree.


Due to the arguments of my one friend, we decided it was up to the captain as to whether the cards were told during their missions. This doesn't work because only an infected would want to not have the cards said. As I mentioned, in the first game the danger level only moved up to the third spot. In the second game, we played with 8 players. The danger level only moved up once. Once! There is no suspense when the captain looks at his cards & says "No sabotage." because it's known the infected are playing the game as human, because they'll give themselves up otherwise. And once you're found out, you're left out for much of the game. I was infected in the second game. The first infected in fact. Every time I was chosen for a mission, it was with 3 or 4 player teams & would have been too easy to figure out I was the infected if I sabotaged the mission. So, I played the game straight to the end. It was only when my friend accused me of being infected & I gave up my "tell" that he was adamant I was infected. So again, it had nothing to do with the game, but rather reading my face.


So, basically, if you wanted, you could hand out the blood sample cards, accuse people of being infected, read their faces & guess who's infected without having to bother with the nonsense of the missions. Give the guesser 2 blood tests, because you're guaranteed to still be in danger level 1 & have 2 blood tests anyway. If the missions were exciting, I'd be all for it, but most of them aren't. It's just seeing who has the right cards, which with so many players, you're guaranteed to beat it.


And so, my suggestion of not being allowed to tell what cards you're given is one of the ways to fix this game. Yes, it may be easier for the infected to cause trouble, but without this change, there is no trouble, no sense of danger, no chance for the infected to win, unless they get lucky & get in on the escape. Without that chance of causing trouble, the game is monotonous & is just a big guess at the end. Another way I thought of fixing the game is throwing in a random card during a mission. Just draw an extra card, without looking at it, mix it in with other cards & then see what happens. That may seem unfair because then the mission may be too easily won (even more easily than they already are) & so I suggested another way. If a mission parameter is to have a choice of number of players, for example 4-5 players, then the captain can only choose a 4 player team & the 5th player would be a random card. This way, not every mission will have a random card drawn for it.


Anyway, I do like the game, but feel it could be made into a great game with some kind of tweak to fix this major problem.
  
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Tempestuous (Twisted Lit #1)
Kim Askew | 2012
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
(This review can be found on my blog, <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>, in September).

I read Exposure (Twisted Lit #2) first (review up in a couple of days), and while I enjoyed that one better, Tempestuous is still a good read. I can't comment on how much alike it is to The Tempest by Shakespeare because I've never read that play by Shakespeare.

Miranda Prospero used to be a popular girl, but after one of her ideas gets people in trouble, she becomes a social pariah. One night, while working at the hot dog stand in the mall, there's a horrible snowstorm, and everyoen is locked in the mall overnight including Miranda and her former friends and ex-boyfriend. As she plots revenge against them, there's also a series of break-ins going on at the mall. It doesn't take long for Miranda to realize that the thief is also locked in the mall. Miranda must learn what's important or else she may be in more trouble.

I love the cover! I love how plain it is, yet how artistic it is at the same time. The colors go together really well, and I love the little soda cup on the cover.

The title is fantastic because not only is this a retelling of The Tempest by Shakespeare, but it also describes the weather in the book as well as Miranda's life at the moment.

I thought the world building was alright and the setting fantastic. I've always wondered what it would be like to be stuck in a mall. I'd probably hate it, but I'd like to imagine it'd be like what Miranda's night was like. I just kind of found it hard to believe that people would just go into any closed shop willy nilly for supplies and loot. I also found it kind of hard to believe that key holders would just open their shops for people. I would've loved to have more back story on Miranda's fall from grace. I would've liked the book to open up with her being part of the popular crowd, and then read about her incident that lead her to be a social outcast, followed by the story I just read. Yes, it would make a longer book, but I think I would've found that super interesting.

The pacing is alright in this book. I didn't devour this book so to speak. I wasn't bored with it, and the pacing is by no means slow, I just didn't get as interested in it as I have with other books.

I like the whole plot about being stuck in a mall and wondering what's going to happen that night. There are many subplots like how Miranda reacts to her former friends and ex-boyfriend, her love life, her friendships and other decisions. I like how there was also the subplot involving a thief locked inside the mall with everyone. I must admit that I was trying to find out who the thief was (and getting it wrong) throughout the book. I only realized who the thief was when Miranda did.

I felt that the characters were written well. I could totally understand about Miranda wanting revenge on those who shamed her and bullied her. I'm not condoning revenge by no means, but I could relate to that feeling. I loved how down to Earth Miranda seemed and how much she cared for people. Caleb came across as being a little bit of a dork, but that's what I loved about him! His dorkiness was actually kind of cute! I also loved how Chad was athletic, but the authors didn't make him out to be some brainless jock. Chad was actually a very sweet and caring guy, and I loved him. My favorite character was Ariel though. I loved her naivety and innocence. I loved how she seemed to find beauty in everything. I just wanted to hug Ariel a lot throughout the book.

I enjoyed the dialogue. None of it felt forced which was good. Everything flowed smoothly, and I found myself even laughing at some of the dialogue (because it was meant to be funny, not because it was bad or anything). There are a few swear words in the book, but nothing major.

Overall, Tempestuous is a fun story that lets you live a night being stuck in a mall with it's likable characters, great dialogue and interesting plot.

I'd recommend this book to those aged 14+ who want to read something with characters that they can relate to.

I'd give Tempestuous (Twisted Lit #1) by Kim Askew & Amy Helmes a 3.75 out of 5.

(I received this book for free from the authors for a giveaway. I was not required to write a review).
  
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Christina Haynes (148 KP) rated Bruja in Books

Jun 29, 2018  
Bruja
Bruja
Aileen Erin | 2015 | Young Adult (YA)
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Bruja
This book is about Tessa's cousin Claudia. We travel with her to Peru to find a cure for her twin brother, Raphael.

After Lucinda's son, Daniel is killed in the last book, she some how manages to bring him back to life. But as some sort of zombie, demon creature. He then infects Raphael. Making him become the same kind of creature as Daniel. In order to cure him, we need to find ancient white magic. And that leads us to Peru.

The only person who can go is Claudia, even Tessa agrees after she has a vision, showing that if she goes they will all die. Why we don't know. But Claudia going to me was perfect.

Before I talk to you about Peru. Let me tell you a little about Claudia and why I liked her, because by the end of this book you will too. I really find her great character, and to be honest. I kind of like her more than Tessa.

Claudia is Tessa's cousin via her mother's sister. She's lived in the witches compound all her life. She was there when her grandmother ruled the cover and she was there when Lucinda took over and make it what it is today. A scary, terrible place to be.

She gave her life by agreeing to an oath with Lucinda, to keep her parents safe so they could leave the coven and compound. Her brother stayed with her, because he didn't want her to be alone, in that horrible place. But her parents are no where to been seen.

She found away to get Tessa to the compound so she could help to either be their leader or find the next one. Tessa wasn't happy with her but she did what she needed to do. She helped the Werewolf pack and Tessa fight the vampires, without been asked. She's helped Tessa a lot, along with other people, and for what? To be left by her parents. To be tied to Lucinda via a oath that keeps her apart of her coven, which allows Lucinda to drain her power.

She's the fiance of a terrible ass, because Lucinda made it happen, and now her brother is in danger of dying and she has to go to Peru with an ancient werewolf, she hardly knows.

Already to me Claudia is a great character.

Now back to Peru and the actual story. Claudia sets off to Peru to find ancient white magic. But finding it is the hard part, let alone actually getting it and bringing it back. She has very little time to find and bring it back as her brother is quickly getting worst! - She also wants to break this oath with her a Lucinda, so the rest of the witches who left with her can break theirs too.

When she gets to Peru we are introduced to another werewolf called 'Mr July' only kidding that's a nickname she makes up for him whilst she is drooling like a wolf... His name is Lucas. Together they go on search of this white magic. But when she arrives at the hotel, who is there, none other than... HER FIANCE the rude, snobby, old fashioned ass called Matt. But why is he there? She never told him, Tessa wouldn't. No one would... Only someone did. - Why is he there, and what the hell is he up too!?

Claudia starts to fall for Lucas, she tries not too. But it's very hard. She know nothing can happen, he's a Werewolf and she's well a witch. But if she wants to break the bond/oath with Lucinda she could mate with a werewolf... But she can't just find anyone, she wants to find the one. But even then to her that's not really an option... Yet.

She gets into a lot of trouble with a local coven and again Matt is involved. Lucas saves her life a few time and she saves his. This love story between them both, for me was a better story than Tessa and Dastien's.

This story I really liked, not only did I love the idea, but I loved the characters. I loved how it was just about Claudia and Lucas. I loved how we didn't have other people around, we had some of course. But not other people who were apart of the main goal. We had two people working together, whether they liked eachother or not. Just working together to save her brother. Lucas had nothing to do with Raphael. He doesn't even know him, but he helps Claudia anyway.

The ending was lovely and it made way for the next book. Which is back to being about Tessa. I hope we have more of Claudia. She's definitely my favourite character!

3☕ – NOT A BAD BOOK

Love, Christina ?
  
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Ryan Hill (152 KP) rated Spider-Man 3 (2007) in Movies

Jul 1, 2019 (Updated Jul 3, 2019)  
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
2007 | Action, Mystery, Sci-Fi
Tobey maguire as Peter Parker/Spider-man James franco as Harry osborne Kirsten dunst as MJ Jk simmons as J.Jonah jameson The action sequences Harry's arc and redemption The final battle (0 more)
Too many villains (0 more)
"None of that matters now, you're my friend"
After the worldwide success of the first two "Spider-Man" films, director Sam Raimi and the cast decided to take a break. The first two had been shot almost back-to-back, with very little "down time" in between. So, in late 2005, about 18 months after the release of "Spider-Man 2", Raimi began fleshing out ideas for a third storyline. For this chapter, the director wanted to teach Peter Parker about forgiveness; to do so, he'd need a villain with personal ties. The problem was that, besides the Osborn family and Otto Octavius, no villains in the comics had such a huge connection. Raimi didn't want to contradict a well-established character, so he sought one out whose backstory had never been fully realized: the Sandman, whose literary incarnation was little more than a random thief. Connecting the character to the death of Ben Parker gave Peter a huge obstacle that needed facing. Wrapping up Harry Osborn's story was also necessary, since Marvel wasn't sure if James Franco would agree to more chapters in the franchise. The addition of Gwen Stacy (who in the comics, was Peter's first love) was done mainly for the fans, and to create a conflicted love triangle with Peter & Mary Jane. Satisfied with his concept, Raimi told his plans to Marvel Comics; the result was less than expected.


Therein lies my biggest problem with "Spider-Man 3". I liked the Venom character as a kid, but in all honesty having 4 villains in the same film (Harry, Marko, the black symbiote itself, and eventually Venom) was just too much at once. From the standpoint of a fan, I'd have preferred that Venom be saved for a future entry, so he could have taken center stage. By having him alongside both Marko and Harry Osborn, the story became rather confusing for many fans, and the film's box office suffered as a direct result. Overall, this film made less money across the board than its predecessor...all because of corporate greed.

That being said, I still enjoy the film on many levels, but knowing what caused the multi-arc story makes some moments bittersweet. The actors clearly enjoyed this ride, but something in general seemed a bit lacking. Looking back, I realize it was the Venom character. The fact of it essentially being forced into the narrative only made the tale confusing and hard to follow. It became one of those films many people have to watch more than once, just to understand it...and these days, audiences don't have a lot of patience for films with too many angles. Rightfully so, in my opinion.

Tobey Maguire, slipping into the spandex suit for a third try, really shows his acting range here, even more so than his diverse performance in "Spider-Man 2". From intense love to seething hatred (and everything in between), he really brings his game up to a whole new level. Kirsten Dunst shines again as Parker's star-crossed love, Mary Jane Watson. I liked her performance very much, and her singing in the film is beautiful. She's less helpless than in either prior entry, and far more confident. Bryce Dallas Howard (daughter of acclaimed director Ron) makes her first apearance in the franchise as the bubbling, exuberant, and gorgeous Gwen Stacy. I liked her character, but felt she didn't have much to do in the long run.

James Franco does an equally-remarkable turn, finally completing the journey that began at the end of the original film. He gives Harry a blend of jealousy, mystique, and severe determination. He also revisits the lighter tones of his role, for the scenes where Harry has amnesia. And in the finale, he shows that in his heart, Harry was truly a hero. Thomas Haden Church gave Marko both sentiment and menace, and turned what was originally a two-bit thug into a far more interesting character. Topher Grace played the "creepy" card as Venom, and gave Eddie Brock a know-it-all arrogance that makes you almost feel disgusted.


Aside from the criticisms surrounding Venom, I honestly didn't have a lot for this entry. Mary Jane is no longer in a water-drenched position (thank God!), so I was very relieved. I guess my main concern was that there were too many villians should of just stuck with Harry and Venom or Harry and sandman. And for anyone who asks why i haven't put the dancing scenes as a negative. I get a kick out of them what can i say?
  
The Nun (2018)
The Nun (2018)
2018 | Horror
I’ve always been a sucker for supernatural thrillers that are based on “actual events”, even if the way it’s portrayed in the movies nowhere resembles the truth. For some reason, it’s always intriguing to watch a film and imagine that these things could potentially happen. This has always been the draw of The Conjuring films, which are loosely based on the lives of Ed and Lorraine Warren, whose paranormal investigations were the inspiration behind not only this series but the Amityville Horror. So, when I heard that The Nun was another movie set in the same cinematic universe as The Conjuring franchise I anxiously awaited the opportunity to review it.

The Nun begins with two nuns who are attempting to destroy an evil being that has cursed an abbey in a small Romanian village for hundreds of years. After a young man who goes by the name Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet) discovers one of the nuns has hung herself, the Vatican summons Father Burke (Demián Bichir), who is known for his special skills in exorcisms and Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), a young nun-in-training to investigate the matter. With Frenchie as their guide, they travel to the abbey to uncover the mysteries of the nun’s suicide.

The Nun reintroduces us to a familiar demonic figure that was originally introduced in The Conjuring 2. Sadly, this is where the similarities to the other Conjuring films end. The Nun has its share of jump scares, but the entire film seems to be a compilation of various horror tropes including everything from crosses turning upside down to using holy water to get rid of demons. All the typical exorcism movie elements are there, but none of them really add any context to the story or answer any questions as to why the priest and nun were sent to investigate the suicide. There is no discernable path that the characters take to unravel the mystery, and it attempts to build suspense only to “Hollywood-up” the ending. They sacrificed suspense and mystery and replaced it with monster filled battles and cheesy one-liners. Instead of beautifully haunting ghosts and demons we got what I could only describe as nun-mummies which can now be taken down with shovels and shotguns. A shotgun was not part of Father Burke’s exorcism arsenal but towards the end of the movie you start to think maybe that should have been his weapon of choice all along (who needs a cross and holy water, when you have your trusty 12-gauge).

The setting is as beautiful as it is creepy, and it’s hard not to wonder how they could take such an amazing setting and dumb it down. The Nun herself is particularly creepy and the characters at first glance appear to be interesting which is why it’s so disappointing that the movie feels so much like a missed opportunity. The pacing of the movie is incredibly slow as well, with all the buildup of the investigation most of the time you are just waiting for something to happen. To make it even worse, most of the buildups lead the audience down a path of confusion and not only raise more questions that will never be answered, but also destroy any believability of the story.

Ultimately, fans of The Conjuring franchise will likely leave disappointed and with even more longing for The Conjuring 3 to be released. The movie lacks much of the suspense and outright terror that the previous movies in the series were well known for and ultimately feels like a spinoff movie that lacks any real connection to the movies preceding it. The Nun isn’t a terrible movie, and I didn’t leave feeling as though I had completely wasted an hour and a half of my time, it just really doesn’t do anything to break new ground or move the franchise along in any meaningful way. While there are parts of the movie that will have you jump, the reality is, that the scenes following these moments will keep you bewildered and likely cause you to forget what made you jump in the first place. It has some interesting concepts, but nothing that hasn’t been done better in similar movies before it. In the end it’s a movie that people will not likely hate but will not feel satisfied with either. I certainly wouldn’t recommend paying full price to see it, but it may be worth the Saturday matinee price or watching it when it comes to Blu-ray. If you want a good ghost or demon movie to get you in the Halloween spirit, this isn’t it. You’d be much better off watching the spectacularly classic Poltergeist or The Exorcist if you really want to be scared out of your wits.

What I liked: The setting and atmosphere, The Nun herself was pretty freaky

What I liked less: Disjointed story, Too many unanswered questions, Overall “meh” feeling
  
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Natalie Reyes - a kick-ass non-white female hero (1 more)
Arnie's drapes
Linda Hamilton - acting didn't work for me (1 more)
Confusing storyline (as a continuation of T2)
Enjoyable Hokum
Natalia Reyes plays young Mexican Dani Ramos. Out of the blue she faces danger and tragedy when a ‘Rev 9’ Terminator (Gabriel Luna) zaps itself back in time to Mexico City to dispose of her. But, as in “Terminator 2: Judgement Day”, a protector is on hand. This time it’s in the ripped form of ‘enhanced’ human Grace (Mackenzie Davis). She’s there to protect Dani and maintain whatever key to the future that she holds.

Dani is assisted by Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), a vigilante Terminator-fighter wanted in all 50 US States for wanton destruction of property. But even this dynamic duo are no match for the unstoppable force of the Rev 9. So they must turn to an old nemesis from Sarah’s past for assistance.

James Cameron is heavily involved with this one. The decision was made to ‘reboot’ the series as if all the dodgy Terminator movies of the intervening years (after #2) had never happened. (That’s not to say that *I* necessarily found them all dodgy. I quite liked “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” for example, with it’s grim and downbeat ending).

Now I went into this flick understanding that premise. So a flashback scene in the first few minutes of the film left me mightily confused. How on earth did this link to the ‘thumbs up’ scene at the end of “Terminator 2”? #baffled.

But if you ignore this issue, the film settles into what I thought was a nice “Logan“-style modus operandi. There’s an exciting chase sequence along a Mexican highway, but it never overwhelmed the ongoing development of character and motive.

Unfortunately, this didn’t last. Overall, the script lacked momentum, showing a general lack of narrative drive. This is the result, I suspect, of the familiar malaise of ‘team-input’. There are a total of SIX writers contributing to the story and/or screenplay. For example, an opportunity to take a poke at Trump’s Mexican wall isn’t taken; neither are scenes in the topically newsworthy detention centre. It’s as if the “better not: we’ll upset people” button was pressed in either the writing room or by the studio.

Trying to make up for this wallowing second reel, the movie – on boarding a military transport plane – goes to extremes of unbelievable action, both in the sky and below the water. That “Logan-esque” start seems a long way away now.

There’s another element of the movie that confused the hell out of me. The ‘Rev 9’ is able to jump out of it’s “skeleton” which could then pursue actions on its own. Given the Terminator gets FLATTENED – skeleton and all – during certain scenes of the film, this makes little sense unless the skeleton is made of the same ‘liquid metal’ as the body. In which case, why not just have liquid metal that can assume multiple different forms and attack the target from all sides? Perhaps that came in with the “Rev 10”!

But it’s not as bad as I’ve made it sound. This is in no way a terrible movie. As a ‘brain at the door’ piece of sci-fi hocum I really quite enjoyed it. The cast in particular is nicely of our time. There’s a Colombian (not Mexican), feisty and successful female lead in the form of the relatively unknown Reyes. And she has two strong female characters in support. Arnie Schwarzenegger has top billing, but his is really a supporting role.

Natalia Reyes I thought was particularly impressive. The girl has real screen presence, and I look forward to seeing what she does next.

Mackenzie Davis is also terrific as the kick-ass cyborg. I particularly liked the way she executed a neat plot device. Grace has a ‘war-machine’ design… she’s designed for incredible bursts of activity over short periods, but then becomes next to useless as her body crashes and needs ‘rebooting’.

I don’t want to be mean, but there’s probably a reason Linda Hamilton hasn’t been in more mainstream movies since T2. Her acting here is adequate at best and didn’t really cut it for me. The script has delivered her a number of humorous lines – including the iconic “I’ll be back’ – but none of them really land in the delivery.

Instead , it’s Arnie who has the best lines in the movie, delivered with dead-pan wit. His “cover” identity – and particularly his chosen profession – deliver some laugh out loud dialogue.

All in all, I found this a big step up on other Terminator films in the series. The director is Tim Miller, he of “Deadpool“. It’s not bloody Shakespeare, but I found it – warts and all – an enjoyable night out at the movies.

For the full graphical review, check out https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2019/11/10/one-manns-movies-film-review-terminator-dark-fate-2019/
  
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
2014 | Action, Sci-Fi
2
6.0 (20 Ratings)
Movie Rating
I’m kind of like everyone else out there. I grew up with the Ninja Turtles. I loved the cartoons, the comics and most of all the toys. I remember the pizza shooter. Boy, did I get into some trouble with that. When the movie came out in 1990, I begged and begged by father to take me to it until he finally did. I loved that movie! And while it may not for most, it still hold up for me today.

I wish that I could speak with as much enthusiasm about 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The truth is, as I sat there and watched I found myself shaking my head “no” more often than not over the course of the hour and a half. My worst fears for the movie came true, and I am ashamed of what this may do to the franchise. And be warned, there are most definitely spoilers ahead.

TMNT is about a “gang” called the Foot Clan, who are robbing chemical shipments, banks and all sorts of places in New York City. April O’Neil, a local news reporter, is looking to make a big break and thinks she may have found it as she happens upon a robbery in progress by the Foot Clan. But before she could any good pictures or footage, mysterious vigilantes show up and save the day. This leads her to investigate and find out that none other than our favorite heroes in the half shell are said vigilantes. We find out that the partner of Shredder, the head of the Foot Clan, was running experiments using a chemical compound not of this world. They were injecting, you guessed it, four turtles and a rat. Now the turtles must stop the Foot Clan from carrying out there ultimate plan, which leads us to a final showdown between our heroes and Shredder.

First off, bad move changing the origin story like that. A mutagen made from an alien compound? It totally lacks credibility especially as it is only slight referenced in one scene, and then never spoken of again. Plus, losing “the ooze” origin totally closes doors (though maybe not all the way) on other characters in the TMNT universe (i.e. BeBop and Rocksteady). It’s just really lame to see them veer away from what was tried and true.

The turtles themselves, their new look actually grew on me. I think that some of the accessories may have been a little overboard, but the basics were there. I especially liked that the bandanas weren’t identical. However, the look is where it ended for me. I do not think that they cast the voices right. It just didn’t sound like they are supposed to sound. We’ve had the iconic voices from animated series to the old series of movies that just stand out. I didn’t get that here.

Also, I just don’t get the deal with Megan Fox. I get that some guys find her attractive, but that doesn’t mean she can act. She was the absolute worst choice for April O’Neil. She just didn’t look the part. Maybe Michael Bay was trying to prove a point about the rumors going around for why she wasn’t in Transformers 3. Will Arnett, however, did an excellent job as Vern Fenwick, O’Neil’s camera man. He had some great comedic timing and relief from the action sequences.

If you ask me, they showed Shredder’s face way too early in the movie. And then they way overdid him, right off the get go. Shredder was a formidable foe because of his cunningness and martial arts expertise. But ladies and gentleman, they introduce Super Shredder almost immediately off the bat. Or, as I like to call him in this film, Swiss Army Shredder. He looked like a freaking Transformer, in the worst way. I swear I even heard the Transformer sound when he jumped and landed one time. They way, way over did it. I know, I’ve already said this. But it seems to be a theme of the night.

I walked out of the film wishing I had never agreed to do this. Unfortunately, though, someone’s got to take one for the team. And if it means that I can warn others, than I am glad to have done it. The movie was entirely bad; there were a couple of funny moments. It just saddens me to think that this will be some people’s first exposure to what was always such an awesome universe. I will most definitely not be picking this up on Blu-ray. I will, however, be watching 1990’ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Now, I understand that some of you may see me as being a fan boy obsessing over nostalgia. But if you have read any of my reviews, you know that I always am kinder and look for the entertainment value of movies. This movie just made me sad. But if you don’t believe me, or doubt my opinion… go check it out. You’ll wish you hadn’t.